Sent on
March 5, 2021

napz has some tips on creating a superteam, but it's a straight choice between kennyS and chrisJ. Wonder who he'll choose..?

ZywOo Sr. is out

Think about G2 for a second.

If you had to make a change to that roster, what would it be?

If you answer was 'maybe cut AmaNEk and get a real support player' then, same-ish. If it was 'cut NiKo for a player whose teams aren't always underwhelming' then your spicy take is one we don't necessarily endorse, but we do like it. Good job.

If it was 'cut kennyS for JaCkz' then hello there nexa, thanks for reading the newsletter!

That's right, kennyS is out with his next move being imminent, supposedly. OG seems to be the obvious home, but EG are also in need of a player. Though CeRq and kennyS might be a little bit too much of the zoomy zoomy and not enough of the spray-y pray-y.

What we're seeing is another member of the aizy chrisJ superteam that is forming in the darkest parts of aizyesque's brain. Either that, or Cloud9 might just have found their AWPer. Again. Before es3tag even gets a chance to screw it up.


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How to create a superteam(ish)

Welcome to our tutorial on how to build your very own Counter-Strike superteam. You might never use this information, but if you happen to be the owner of a major esports organisation, then pay attention.

There's a few things you need for a successful superteam. One of them is the cornerstone of your entire squad and should be the first person you go looking for. You must listen to him unless he's makes bad decisions of course, then you shouldn't. Wait what were we talking about? Oh that's right, your IGL.

A good IGL is very hard to find, and usually very expensive as well. Luckily for you, here at TL;DR we're basically the CS:GO equivalent of those people you see on TLC who have a cupboard for coupons. Ideally, you'd go for someone who's a free agent, and that doesn't happen often to IGL's, so get em while you can. We did some digging for you already, so here's our recommendations:

  • 🇳🇱 ChrisJ: Because, well, duh. Need I remind napz is the one writing this piece. Anyhow, although Chris wasn't born an IGL, he sure showed that he can be one, and a successful one at that. Years of experience, leading an international top team, molded by one of the greatest tactical minds of our era - LMBT of course, who's basically the Sun Tzu of CS - there's not much that can go wrong.
  • 🇩🇰 MSL: No, aizyesque did not just take over writing for this one. Although he is controversial, and his leadership has been doubted before, he is free right now. And nothing beats free*.* If you can stop him from taking over the AWP you're basically set.

Next on the list is your second most important piece yet; the AWPer. The one man with the big green gun has fallen out of fashion a little bit as of late, but none the less he can still be a big part of your success. So, who do you pick?

  • 🇫🇷 KennyS: Like you saw above, he's just been cut. **Even though this guy is part of the old guard, and hasn't been terribly great as of late, he's still undeniably one of the best AWPers out there. Only real drawback? His pricetag.
  • 🇹🇷 woxic: We know, we know, ping issues galore with this guy, and not to mention the possible visa issues. But, he is flashy. And if you're going to pick up a dedicated AWPer, there's really no one who does it better than woxic. Plus he played for mousesports so that's a win.

Alright! You're all set! Get ready to pop some heads and cash in some major tournament money! Wait what? You're supposed to have five players? Ugh, fine. I guess we'll get some riflers, here are three that stand out:

  • 🇧🇷 fer: If you can get him to move from Brazil, fer is your man. A solid and strong rifler, and one of the major impact players there was on MIBR. And, once again, free.
  • 🇫🇷  KioShiMa: He's not always been impactful, but he doesn't need to be. Someone needs to play the smart game, throwing flashes and hanging on the fish hook, like a delicious little worm. If you use him right, he won't be a problème.
  • 🇱🇹  EspiranTo: Bet you forgot about this guy, huh? Yeah well, not so long ago, he was one of the top contenders of his region, closely behind huNter and nexa. And look where they are now. This is a player who knows how to win, no matter how hard it is.

And the thing is, there are many many more players that we could put in here, but you did sign up for the TL;DR after all. That being said, some honourable mentions include NaToSaphiX, byali, Calyx, MICHU, oBo, and Don Haci. You might say most of those are better than the players listed above, but this is our newsletter so we're allowed a little personal bias every now and then. Sue us (please don't).


It's always suNny in Phoenix

Source: Starladder / Igor Bezborodov

The first stage of the -chrisJ +chrisJ prophecy is complete. FPX couldn't come to terms with chrisJ and instead will move ahead with suNny. Which you guys already knew, because you listened to our podcast on Tuesday. If you didn't, gogogo!

That can only mean that this trial period will end with +chrisj - nothing else would make sense.

Does this mean suNny is IGLing? Is zehN now in charge? Only God, and potentially DEVILWALK, knows.

At least we know who is in charge of OG - and that's valde, who appears to have pulled the strings to get his old teammate niko in for NBK-. We could make a joke about how we mentioned NiKo earlier, and how you guys wanted to cut him for another star player, but those jokes are overdone.

niko left G2 for this omegalul.

In other Danish news, roeJ and HooXi have been benched from Mad Lions who are looking to make an international roster.

At least North can pick them u- ah, man. We really can't get used to this.


Fnatic stripped of their winning rights


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