Sent on
May 21, 2021

aizyesque is overdosing on copium, NA orgs are getting embarrassed by mix teams and GORILLAZ have made a roster move. No, not the band.

Who needs an org?

We'll be seeing the Bad News Bears and O PLANO at cs_summit 8, as they beat out a couple of real esports organisations to clamber out of the qualifier.

We were quite high on the GODSENT project, but we might have been wrong. They just... aren't as good as O PLANO, a team from the same region who can actually seem to qualify for events. Maybe someone should sign them.

Similarly, NAs new hope outdid their salaried friends as BNB were the ones who took down GODSENT. They'll now have the chance to show what they're about against Extra Salt, Liquid and EXTREMUM in their group.

How dumb will EXTREMUM feel if they get smashed by Bad News Bears?

Probably when, not if.

Author: 
aizyesque

Want the next edition in your inbox?

  • Get all the best stories in a quick read, twice weekly
  • We're cheeky and snarky a.f.
  • It's free, forever!
subscribe now

EspiranTo leaves GORILLAZ

Well, he didn't really leave, as much as he was replaced. After one whole month, the team has already decided to change things up - again - bringing in xfl0ud, a young Turkish talent.

Apparently, the Lithuanian was struggling to fit in to the team's system, and things just didn't work out. To be honest here, this is probably the smartest thing to do. A lot of teams keep members on - especially ones with a stature like EspiranTo - and try to work out differences and issues, but with the team being so young and still not much more than a mix, you have to make a decision.

An organisation could support players with this, but of course, GORILLAZ' new organisation is yet to be unveiled. Who could it be?

Author: 
napz

Second bite of the cherry

Illustration by NovaH. Source: NIP

If you're a fan of fairytales, you're going to be disappointed. In fairness, that's nearly always true, otherwise they wouldn't be fairytales.

NiP took down Anonymo in map fou- sorry, map three 2 - of their series in round 30. It was some serious heartbreak for the Poles who didn't even really think they should be made to play the game again.

If you've no idea what happened there, aizyesque summed it up in just 20 seconds in this clip from the podcast. Listen to the podcast. It'll make him happy. He even got a haircut for this.

device genuinely got bodied by Snax too, which is bloody lovely to see. We love it when Snax is good, it makes the world feel more at ease. It would be an overreaction to suggest Snax is back to his best, and is about to dominate the world again.

But that doesn't mean we're not willing to subscribe to that overreaction.

There's still hope for a re-rematch, too. Anonymo would have to beat HYENAS, mind, which would never happen.

Author: 
aizyesque

All gone south

lol jk, of course North 2 would lose. HYENAS just respect that the world wants to see NiP vs Anonymo again, and were willing to sacrifice their own tournament hopes for the good of the scene.

NiP though, completely ruined it by taking down FPX - so if Anonymo want revenge, they might have to wait a while. Grand final, maybe?

All results, if you missed anything or want more info, here as always.

mouz almost look like a real team again, which is fun. They 2-0'd BIG as any respectable team should in 2021, but they weren't a respectable team circa... one week ago.

DBL Poney's dream isn't over, but a loss to Astralis might temper expectations somewhat. They're still basically the best team in France, just not Europe.

A team who might not be the best in their country now is Heroic. Now THAT'S an overreaction. They did lose to G2 though, which is becoming less and less embarrassing.

We might have to admit that G2 with NiKo are actually good soon, but for now we're maintaining ignorance.

Author: 
aizyesque

Carlos the Monk

  • Maybe he'll finally put together a Major winning team after his trip? It'll be both physical and spiritual, so who knows.
  • MSL future is looking bright. Not getting B-rushed by the Danish five-stack level bright, but still bright.
  • The boomers in our team have told us we should care about this "trace" guy. So yeah, care about this trace guy.
  • Great, now we can boast to our friends that being Master Guardian I is "above average".
  • What's worse: your parents not understanding your line of work and you making less money, or you disappointing them by working at McDonald's but making more money? We're loving it.
  • There's no chiropractor in the world that can fix that back, sheesh.
  • Ehm indeed... Apparently there were some cheats involved.
  • For all you manly men out there, Polly Pocket meets CS:GO courtesy of the talented Wheezy_T.
Author: 
napz
GET THE WEEKLY TL;DR ON COUNTER-STRIKE

Unsubscribe anytime

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.