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Xyp9x is staying at Astralis, HUNDEN is - shock horror - a knobhead, NA CS is saved and TeSeS is completely innocent. Honest, guys.
Yes, we're still talking about HUNDEN and Heroic.
niko has been found to be guilty - largely as he admitted said guilt - of knowledge of HUNDEN's cheating, but is getting off lightly, without a ban. Now, put that sword away; ESIC found that HUNDEN abused niko's ADHD and Aspergers to manipulate him into trusting him, and then ratted on the poor boy.
On one hand, we don't want to use conditions like that to excuse behaviour, but it does shine a very different light on it if the investigation shows HUNDEN deliberately manipulated it.
So, we're all good right? HUNDEN takes the fall for being a terrible, terrible man, everyone is fine. Just don't go and release a half hour video where you go and tell the world that you knew what was going on and asked very very politely that he stop, and you'll be okay.
Oh. Never mind.
The Heroic players did just that, telling us that after they found out he cheated the first time they asked him not to do it again, and that TeSeS boosting him into the spot was just him being naive. Mmhmm.
cadiaN then tried to sell us a beach front property in the Gobi Desert right after.
Re-hiring him after he was banned for cheating, and going against your wishes to cheat again? Completely normal. Don't worry about it.
Seriously, the whole thing stinks, and if we weren't so tired and jaded of this story we might find it within ourselves to be more than horrendously sarcastic about the whole ordeal. We suppose in that sense they've muddied the waters enough to win.
voo got it right on Twitter. Something fishy going on here.
Along with a new jersey - sponsored by the only brand Danish sport teams should have: Hummel - came a not so new signing. The Clutch King has put his signature under a four year contract with Astralis, definitively joining his former teammates again.
It's weird though. It doesn't feel right. Not so long ago it still felt like the domination-era core and their organisation had a big falling out, with no signs of reconciliation.
But now all of a sudden, everybody seems back on. Well, everyone except dev1ce of course. He's a ninja now!
We have our little theory though. Our bald-headed Counter-Strike shaman PHedemark already laid it out in a tweet, and guess what: it has to do with HUNDEN.
So remember when HUNDEN was supposed to come on to the Astralis project as a coach? Zonic was considering leaving the team, probably due to issues with management, the team was showing cracks and things seemed pretty dim.
The HUNDEN deal ended up falling through because of the entire "strat-book leak" debacle, and zonic seemingly stayed on as a coach.
Now here comes the what if. We think the Magisk-Xyp9x-dupreeh core saw zonic's leave as a dealbreaker when it came to new contracts, and with how things went, that dealbreaker is now gone.
Either way the foundations for this roster still seem shaky, and we can't help but feel bad for Bubzkji, who sees himself sidelined once again.
The bloody Major starts in four days.
Are you ready? We are, but we're also not. We've gotta run to the shops and pick up copious amounts of snacks, some beers, grab the homies and get some tissues.
For if/when Team Spirit go out. Obviously.
We're back to Swiss system with none of that round robin nonsense, so you know the drill. Three wins you're in, three losses you're out. Also, you might be out if you get COVID, especially if it seems you endangered people by ignoring rules.
Just take drugs instead, right bubble?
The first round match-ups are out, and other than the early start (for those of us on a gamer sleep schedule, or Americans) the thing that stands out the most is probably the first two.
Astralis vs Copenhagen Flames for the title of the best Danish team (cough) and FaZe taking on Team Spirit? Hell yeah. Trying to predict how that FaZe game will go is like trying to explain your job in esports to your grandparents.
ENCE and GODSENT face off in a huge game for the hipsters among you, and Entropiq take on paiN in one even the hipsters might think is a bit out there. BIG take on VP in maybe the highest ranked clash, and Movistar duke it out with Renegades in perhaps the opposite.
Movistar, though, have looked really strong, and Renegades constantly dominate their region; so there's plenty to look out for.
Ending the first round of games is Heroic and TYLOO, in what should be the most uninteresting result of the round, and MOUZ vs Sharks, which... well, should be one-sided, but almost certainly won't be.
In fairness, sharks would beat mice in a fight, so it should go the way of Brazilians.
We're very, very, very, very excited. And so should you be. If you're not, we hope whatever is stressing you out and stopping you goes away soon and you can enjoy the next few weeks with the rest of us.
Oh, and late last night, stickers were released. Go crazy, but don't waste all your money.