Sent on
January 10, 2022

ZywOo is apparently a Jedi master, STYKO has been reborn on a new NoChance-esque roster and ENCE have lost one.

ZywOo is... a mutant?

The new Team Vitality including Zonic, dupreeh and Magisk.

Source: Vitality

We sort of breezed over it before, but uh, dupreeh and Magisk are really on Vitality.

Like, for realsies. No messing. There’s an epic roster reveal video of them and everything. It’s all a bit weird. dupreeh! Magisk! Even zonic! With ZywOo!

What on s1mple’s green earth is going on?

Well, to answer that question, Vitality’s esports director came out and and gave an interview with HLTV where he says ZywOo is the best player in the world (wrong), signing Kyojin was a mistake (probably true, but a bit harsh) and says shox could play ‘til he’s 45 because ‘he’s a really nice guy’ (weird and bad).

He does try and tone down expectations to begin with, suggesting that the first 6 months will be difficult; but also expects to win a Major within two years and that once they start winning, they won’t stop.

We... have our doubts. There’s a lot of scary looking teams around right now.

Aside from calling ZywOo “a f*cking Master Jedi” and “a mutant”, which is apparently a compliment compared to being called French, he also caused a stir when he claimed he had a bad interview with a player.

"I had a lot of interviews, actually, I also had a really bad interview with a player [...] You know, some players just talk about the money, some just talk about themselves...”

Which... could be about anyone.

But karrigan seems to think it’s about ropz, even though he never mentioned ropz. Well, outside of some French streamer, supposedly. All seems a bit weird to us.

Weird at least that you’d assume it was about one of your teammates. The lady doth protest too much.

The new Vitality team consists of:

  • 🇫🇷  ZywOo
  • 🇫🇷  Misutaaa
  • 🇫🇷  apEX
  • 🇩🇰  Magisk
  • 🇩🇰  dupreeh
  • 🇩🇰  zonic (coach)

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Apeks’ legends

Let’s talk about a team we’ve not really mentioned before.

The last time we really heard about Apeks was when jkaem went there, or maybe potentially when nawwk went there, but even that was quiet.

Well, we’re talking about them again, and jkaem has gone there, again. Weird.

We’re just sort of strangely excited by this team; it’s got NoChance vibes. A bunch of players with a chip on their shoulder with just enough talent to make a dent in the upper tiers.

AcilioN has been a part of some solid teams, but hasn’t quite proven himself yet; nawwk was kicked out of NiP despite being one of their better players, and will want to prove them wrong; chawzyyy is a talented teenager; and jkaem and STYKO add experience and a bit of unfinished business.

There’s a worry that there might be a lack of firepower, but don’t forget how much better STYKO looked individually outside of MOUZ. jkaem, we’ve seen, can be a very useful part as an aggressive player, and chawzyyy and nawwk are quietly very good.

All we’re saying is, we wouldn’t be too shocked to see Apeks end up above some bigger names in a few months.

And when they do, you can smile smugly, knowing that it was going to happen.

The new Apeks team consists of:

  • 🇩🇰  Acilion
  • 🇸🇪  nawwk
  • 🇸🇪  chawzyyy
  • 🇸🇰  STYKO
  • 🇳🇴  jkaem
  • 🇳🇴  Polly (coach)

Oh no, doto

  • doto has been benched by ENCE, with no rumours as of yet about who is replacing him. There’s murmurs of Kjaerbye returning to CS, but... he wouldn’t, would he?
  • Sprout have signed an 18 year old from Luxembourg to replace the outbound faveN. That’s us on Football Manager all over.
  • Extra Salt have released MarKE amid rumours of their new roster (daps, Minus, Infinite, Swisher +1).
  • djL has reunited with Hampus as part of the NiP coaching staff.

The return of the NBKing

Source: @mouz

He’s not the Zodiac, he doesn’t have a Ghostface, no no, it’s the Natural Born Killah. And he’s back. On MOUZ. After retiring for VALORANT.

Now that we write it out it doesn’t sound as good.

So, to cheer us all up, here’s a fun fact: This is the first time in 20 years that MOUZ feature a French player. Even when accounting for stand-ins.

Anyways, let’s not beat around the bush. This move is a pretty weird move, and it’s hard to tell how well it will work out. Not only has NBK not played the game in a long while, he’s also pretty much past his prime at 27 years old. Additionally, when he was on OG - his first dip in international waters - things didn’t go crazy good either.

But things have changed. Even though he committed to a whole new adventure, to us it seems like life just wasn’t that nice to him. We applaud him for coming out as a role model for everyone who’s going through the same challenges as him, and there’s plenty to suggest he’s going to work out for MOUZ.

In an interview with his new organisation, he clearly shows what his value will be. The main goals for him lie in reinvigorating talents like frozen and bymas, and even dexter to some extent, and being the rock-solid foundation upon which the team will be able to build.

Being that kind of person requires humility, and a crazy amount of experience, something which none of us can deny NBK surely is in possession of. You don’t come out of the French scene without having learnt at least one or two things about solving drama.

So go NBK, go and conquer the world. Or fail to break the top ten, whichever comes first.

The new MOUZ roster consists of:

  • 🇦🇺  dexter
  • 🇭🇺  torzsi
  • 🇫🇷  NBK-
  • 🇸🇰  frozen
  • 🇱🇹  bymas
  • 🇩🇰  sycrone (coach)

How to consistently not suck, bro

🧑‍🎓 To improve

  • If you got 21 minutes to spare, STYKO has done an in-depth guide on how to get in the zone every dang time. Git gud.
  • Try this molly next time you play inferno.

🤔 Worth your time

  • Ever wanted to know how much more money s1mple makes per kill than all of BIG clan? Neither did we, until we saw this video
  • Now ropz can just submit this fragmovie to FaZe, instead of having to make his own.

🤪 For the lulz

  • If I were m0nesy right now, I would be scared. Very scared. You don’t get threatened by s1mple and live to tell the tale. In the server, that is.
  • This slide would make Vertigo instantly more fun to play.

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