tl;dr
Everything you gotta know from CS:GO without wasting time on news sites, reddit or twitter.
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If you like TLDR, you’ll love this TLDR. Especially when we have stories on: The bird from down under, a glitch in the Heroic system and just why guerri remains banned over HUNDEN.
They cock-a-doodle-did-it
It’s rare we pay too much attention to our Australian brethren and whatever it is they get to down there, because in truth, it’s rarely particularly interesting.
You can give whatever reason you want for that being the case, but all too often, it’s Grayhound, Encore and VERTEX smashing everyone else and then coming up short internationally.
You might therefore ask “TLDR, why are you talking about the Australian EPL Conference qualifier, if Grayhound once more curbstomped everyone?”. It’s not just because it’s a slow news weekend, but also because there’s a new name on the block.
Those of you with the same bizarre gnawing obsession with browsing HLTV stats as some of us nerds might remember the name chelleos - the Aussie used to have some insane stats in his home region, but never seemed to make it to big events.
Hell, he doesn’t even have a picture on HLTV. We’re half expecting him to be a silhouette when he finally reveals himself.
His team Rooster found themselves in the lower bracket, but wins over VERTEX and Encore saw them upset the odds to break the cycle of Aussie teams at these big events. Hopefully they can do something internationally, though we’re not holding our breath.
chelleos himself had a stellar event, but was joined by the aptly named dangeR near the top of the stats tables. dangeR hasn’t really been a player on anyone’s radar, and it’s possible this is a flash in the pan - or him making the leap.
Only time will tell.
Rooster, along with perennial domestic flat track bullies Grayhound, will be joining some huge names in Conference - not least Major winners Outsiders, and Major-darlings Imperial. And also ‘Genk’.
Great name, honestly.
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k0nfig 2.0 - The Heroic Patch
Okay, Valve, could you go ahead and chill out with how obvious the simulation is?
k0nfig is a fragger with massive potential he just can't seem to reach. He hits rock bottom and has to leave his team. Afterward, he commits himself to reform and to get back on top.
Now he joins the team he talked shit about? That has to be lazy writing, right?
Well, it’s all true, according to Heroic themselves on Twitter. k0nfig was the best option available when stavn decided to sit out Blast Premier World Finals to get some much needed rest.
stavn himself said in a tweet that he’ll be spending time with family and friends as this year has been really hard on him.
We wish stavn all the best, but that doesn’t change the absurdity of the k0nfig situation. At least at face value.
But if you think about it, there’s no better way to prove k0nfig’s changed than by playing with Heroic, given their “past”. It won't be straightforward, stavn is Heroic’s highest-rated player after all.
So, “k0nfig 2.0” as he dubbed himself, has to show the skill and discipline to be fired up in the server and keep his cool outside of it.
All in all, it’s an interesting dynamic that’ll make for some pretty entertaining Counter-Strike. But, if this ends with k0nfig learning the power of friendship and teamwork, the screenwriters should be fired for the super obvious trope.
The Dog comes back for the scraps
Illustration by Crash_ Source: VaKarM
ESIC have had a few nightmares in the last few years, to say the least. But we can all agree that they got one thing right: Banning HUNDEN.
They had him bang to rights on coach bug abuses, went on a thinly veiled PR offensive on Astralis TV.2, and was then served with a further 2-year-ban for attempting to share Heroic’s strats to another team around IEM Cologne in 2021.
He was about as cancelled as you can get in esports without having a drink with a certain someone. He’d been sent to the bottom of Tartarus, as far as we were concerned.
But never count out HUNDEN. The sly old fox put together a team of lawyers, and before you can say ‘bye bye casle’ it was announced that ESIC had unbanned HUNDEN.
What’s worse, ESIC didn’t even have the balls to tweet about it. All we got was an untitled press release and the deletion of everything related to his ban from their website.
There was silence, too, from the Astralis camp. So we’ll just remind you what they said a few months ago: “Once his ban has expired … we would not have any second thoughts about offering him a position.” Lost your Twitter password, gla1ve?
And yet, after all that, all their fuck ups, the CS:GO community still decided to be upset at ESIC for the one thing that’s not really their fault: Valve’s Major bans on the likes of RobbaN and guerri, who ESIC unbanned months ago.
If you want to seem smart, check out this handy guide from TomTom on what ESIC are actually responsible for.
That way, we can get angry about the stuff they’re actually responsible for — of which we’ve got enough exhibits to even scare Ben Stiller away.
Dust2’s Mnmzzz put it best: Either ESIC don’t have the funding to uphold their bans in court, or there were loopholes in their HUNDEN case just like there were in peacemaker’s. Whichever reason, it’s hard to see ESIC surviving much longer.
A lot of people will celebrate that, but we should not forget the need for a regulator like ESIC in the space. Having game developers decide punishments didn’t go well. TOs can barely sort a shared calendar let alone a nuanced ban system.
A world without ESIC might not be as rosy as we imagine.
Tricked by the stars
⌛ It’s all a matter of time
- 500 got lucky and were spared on the last map by Tricked as they had another appointment to be at. You don’t skip an appointment with Astralis.
- SIXER turns back the clock (in a very important tournament) with a 1v4 clutch.
🌏 Roster unrest in the East
- Looks like erkaSt is back. And so is BnTeT. Ladies and gents, we believe the proper term would be: pog.
- Overdrive says Cloud9 is looking to replace interz. Players love to deny rumours, but Overdrive is usually right…
📺 Compilations you need to see
- We miss D2 already. So, to keep the nostalgia going, NoSleep put together a nice compilation of Dust II plays worth watching.
- An amazing caster compilation? We’ll take any chance we can to watch more Lau and Scrawny content.
