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January 6, 2023

Welcome to 2023! We hope your holidays were wonderful and your Christmas presents were elo-shaped. Today we cover tons of roster moves incl: NaVi and NiP make changes, Astralis kill any goodwill they had leftand another support player gets the shaft.

Free the npl, free the NiP

somedieyoung, some overstay their welcome and leave quietly before being replaced by an academy player.

Alright, that was uncalled for. sdy has been largely serviceable for NaVi, but always felt like a stopgap — that said, it doesn’t entirely feel like his replacement is ‘the guy’ for NaVi, either.

Perhaps he doesn’t need to be.

npl - who we insist on calling ‘nipple’, even if he changed it - will be moving into sdy’s temporary accommodation and taking his spots. All the bad ones, of course.

We’re not sure this is the move that brings NaVi back to their former glory, but we’re also not sure what move would be. The thing stopping NaVi from trampling everyone isn’t the fifth player, it’s s1mple, b1t, and electronic finding top form again.

In the meantime, it seems that headtr1ck to NIP is all but confirmed. If Luis Mira says it, it’s happening. The teenager has been everyone’s “””bold””” prediction in the HLTV Top 20 (very little imagination among the best players in the world), and will now get a chance to prove all of those brave souls right, or indeed, wrong.

He’ll have to do it without the analysis of THREAT, who has left NIP to pursue actual coaching opportunities instead of analysing ones. We’re not really in a position to criticise, but… NIP did get a lot better on the T side as soon as he stopped coaching.

For sdy, who knows where he will land next? We hear Boombl4 is looking for players…


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Woof woof, it’s the sound of the police

Illustration by NovaH. Source: Astralis

Remember that huge scandal about HUNDEN doing all the cheating and scummy stuff?

Yeah? Well, turns out Astralis owner Nikolaj Nyholm doesn’t, nor remember his old comments about it. Oops!

We hate it, too. HUNDEN is an unapologetic dickhead, who cheated over and over, took team secrets to another team, and tried to frame his former players at the same time. Lovely guy. His unbanning means that he could have been signed, but we sort of hoped nobody would.

Alas, morality is dead, and Astralis killed him.

Their search for answers after their fall from grace has somehow led them to HUNDEN, which makes you wonder; what questions were they asking? Which coach will give us the least grace among fans? Which coach is worst for PR?

Astralis have fallen off from their perch of being the top Danish team, and this is hardly going to bring them back fans who began to feel disillusioned with the performances.

The only thing HUNDEN can do to balance the moral scales would be to stop blameF baiting, but that’s never going to happen. They had the one coach who was bigger than him, and if anything, he became even more despicable.

HUNDEN will be Astralis’ coach, making him the third Danish coach banned by ESIC they’ve signed. Somehow, Heroic have become everyone’s favourite Danish team.


The merry-go-round spins… slowly

Tune in to this week's episode of Overtime on Inferno where your favorite hosts aizyesque and Logan Ramhap go deep on the biggest news in CS:GO:

  • Cloud9 putting us all to sleep
  • The clown car of NA (Evil Geniuses)
  • Valve try to rank better than HLTV ever could

Cut your support player special

Cloud9’s time as the longest-standing 5-man lineup is ending.

HLTV, after breaking the news on interz’ removal at the start of December, are now reporting that his replacement will be buster, VP/Outsiders’ old big-site anchor.

In case you’ve forgotten, buster is the one who left VP because he “felt the weight of the last 5 years”, three months before they won a Major. Ouch.

He’s back now, though — even if replacing interz isn’t really the type of gig to re-ignite your passion for the game. We hope he’s been practicing his jumpspots. And that naphony hasn’t been let near any more arT demos.

Now, it’s not confirmed yet. And we have to mention that sh1ro rubbished the -interz rumours a while back, so take this roster move with a tiny pinch of salt.

Or don’t. As hawka so deftly pointed out, players are about as reliable as an egg Twitter account, or ESIC in a law court.

buster’s replacement in Outsiders was n0rb3r7, who has joined Devilwalk as a candidate for the worst player to ever win a Major after their success in Rio.

But don’t take our word for it, take Jame’s. Just one bad event later, the twitter rumour mill says that Outsiders are cutting old n0rb for some new steel in the form of 18-year-old KaiR0N-.

Jame did put KaiR0N- as his “HLTV Bold Prediction” both in 2021 and 2022, so you know he’s a fan. And, we are too — just maybe for different reasons.

This is the guy who once averaged less than one flashbang per ten rounds. He’s like a less smart version of YEKINDAR or Patsi, a pure bulldozer who can add some spice back to Outsiders’ ‘b0rInG’ aka ‘you’re too noob to appreciate it’-style.

fame and FL1T can go full closer mode, Qikert can be the bitch. It’s a comp that has some potential. Maybe not Major-winning potential but let’s not pretend n0rb3r7 was anything other than dead weight.

It’s a ruthless business. And Jame is the expert.


EG get CeRq-umcised

Illustration by ANDY. Source: PGL / Joao Ferreira

NA rejoice, after 5 long years EG has finally gone to the doctor and cut the cord: They’ve gotten a CeRq-umcision.

Okay, maybe that’s a bit overdramatic (and an odd mix of metaphors, sry)

CeRq has spent 5 years of his career around NA, starting off at NRG where he made them a very dangerous LAN team on the back of his ability to transcend their level and grab a game by the scruff of its neck. By the end of his stint, he had a 1.16 HLTV rating and picked up a Tier 1 LAN MVP at IEM Shanghai 2018. NA fans started comparing him to s1mple, a CIS/EU AWPer coming in and making a team more dangerous.

NRG’s success was big enough that in 2019 Evil Geniuses decided to pick up the roster, CeRq included. Multiple roster changes and two team acquisitions later, EG haven’t been able to make CeRq work. His stats last year had him below a 1.0 rating as an AWPer. It was time for him to be cut. get it?

What’s next for the Bulgarian not-so-sharpshooter is anyone’s guess, we wouldn’t be surprised to see him return to EU in an attempt to find form. Equally, we wouldn’t be surprised if he returned in the form of a lower-tier NA team fighting for those America’s Qualifiers.

As for EG, well they have plenty of players to pick from (7!), who knows maybe we’ll see one of their new EG Toddlers players get a chance! for legal reasons that’s a joke.

  • 🇰🇿 neaLaN
  • 🇨🇦 HexT
  • 🇺🇸 autimatic
  • 🇺🇸 Brehze
  • 🇺🇸 wiz
  • 🇺🇸 jeorgesnorts
  • 🇺🇸 viz

More roster stuff?

Yes, more roster stuff. Deal with it, we’re not the ones who made the transfers.

Things are gonna be a little longer than you’re used to in Everything Else, so hold on tight.

  • Besides angering everyone, 🇩🇰 Astralis also expanded their “performance” team by adding Jan Jørgensen and B. S. Christiansen as Performance and Mental coaches respectively. Doesn’t ring a bell? Well, one is a former badminton pro and the latter is Ex. Special Forces and also used to coach pro cycling Team Saxo Bank.
  • 🇷🇺 forZe is down one member as kensi joins the long list of Counter-Strikers who leave for VALORANT. See you in a year, kensi!
  • Next time you’re watching Brazilian CS, don’t be alarmed if you have to do a double-take. 🇧🇷 00 Nation and 🇦🇷 9z have gone for an AWP switcheroo. try leaves 00 Nation for 9z, and nqz joins 00 Nation, leaving 9z. Got it?
  • Why waste time putting the bits and pieces together yourself when you can buy the all-in-one package? Apparently, that’s what 🇸🇪 GODSENT had in mind as they tried to take over 🇽🇰 BNE. BanKs says it’s not true, but rumours are always wrong until they’re right.
  • 🇹🇷 w0xic is free on the market as we speak. After committing to an international roster for his next move and benching himself on Eternal Fire, he is now fair game to pick up as his contract has run out. Go get him!
  • Same thing for our huggable friend from the East, 🇷🇺 Boombl4 is now also a free agent. Zeus’ intended successor and favourite Christmas song singer is out of contract with NaVi and can now be picked up for free at any old corner shop.
  • Okay, looks like we made it through. One more to go: jkaem and STYKO’s retirement home, 🇳🇴 Apeks, has found it’s IGL and fifth in kyxsan. The North-Macedonian talent joins a team with some interesting and familiar faces. All we can expect is to be pleasantly surprised.

🤯 Everything Else inside Everything Else

  • This year’s biggest winner? FaZe at $23,869 per map.
  • Look Adam, sometimes it just takes time to shift all the way from B Apps to A Ramp on Mirage.
  • Okay listen craftmeister, your first mistake was opening CS in the first place. Best not to after such a hard day.
  • Looks like s1mple didn’t quite get rid of that toxic alter ego after all… Yeesh.
  • Solo-queueing can be the unholiest thing you’ll ever witness, but not for this one player in hAdji’s game.
  • This video about Dust II’s hinge smoke by TL;DR’s very own Fuffy, is so quick we bet you it’ll be over before we finish this sente-

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