Sent on
April 7, 2023

The bloody Major cycle has started. We’ve been unable to contain our excitement, and honestly? Keep it a secret, but we did wet ourselves. Only a little bit. Don’t tell anyone.


Illustration by NovaH.

Thursday, April 6th. TLDR Crew sits down to watch the Asia RMR in Ulaanbaatar. Game 1 goes off without a hitch, and we get ready for the second match.

Suddenly, the words we’d see for the next 4 hours show up on the screen: “Technical Issues”

After The Mongolz (EX-IHC) took down Loba’s Twisted Mind (the team, not him), we were all ready to watch Rare Atom do to VERTEX what they did to liquid. Unfortunately, though, we only got to round 5 before shit hit the fan, and the server went down.

There were several attempts at restarting, giving us a false sense of hope that maybe, just maybe, we can watch some Asian CS today. Yet every time, it ended before it could start with the pause music taunting us. Eventually, BLAST got rid of the countdown timer and just resorted to the now ingrained in our retinas “Technical Issues” screen. An admission of being powerless to stop the Tech Issues from ruining our precious JamYoung time.

On a more serious note, Kaze fell ill during the wait after apparently not feeling so good during the first few rounds. After the first bit of Tech issues, it seemed like the Coach was going to step in before Kaze decided to keep playing after speaking to a doctor. Still, the game didn’t restart, and a while later, HLTV confirmed that Rare Atom's coach K4mi would stand in. This seemed to hint at the fact Kaze probably wasn’t doing too well, confirmed by Eruption’s yAmi posting an Instagram story of an Ambulance car captioning it “kaze…”

In the end, the game never started, and BLAST announced all of Thursday’s games would be moved to Friday with the Rare Atom vs VERTEX game resuming at the 1-3 scoreline it was left with, which you can still observe on the match page right now.

We’re hoping that shortly after this newsletter finds your inbox, the Asia RMR can actually get going again, and we get to watch our favorite Asian Ballers light up the kill feed again. Of course, we also wish Kaze a speedy recovery. See you on the server soon king.


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EG join us in dreamland

We might be on gamer hours, but there’s wall-to-wall 24/7 Counter-Strike and even the TLDR elves need the odd 10-12 hours of sleep.

We’ve covered as much as we can manage of the NA RMR before the night-time fairies take us away (and this edition has to be scheduled and sent off to you):

Liquid smacked 00NATION - obviously - and FURIA swept away TeamOne cleanly to open it all up. Easy peasy. No surprises there.

A more even game went the way of BESTIA who you might know as ex-Isurus. No, nothing? They’re Argentinian! Anyway, they overcame a seven-round CT side on Overpass to take down Nouns.

Complexity took down the hilariously named Solid, sadly likely depriving us of a Liquid vs Solid game 🫠 hallzerk got them AWPs, every damn round, and picked up 26 kills in 26 rounds to let Solid know what’s up.

paiN squished Paquetá in just eighteen rounds, with NEKIZ topfragging. Which isn’t a good sign for Paquetá. Obviously.  Could be worse, they could have lost to EG. That’d be embarrassing!

…wouldn’t it, FalleN? The plot armour has worn off, and now Imperial have been felled by even Evil Geniuses. They weren’t even supposed to be here!

Not a great start to the day for the big Brazilian teams - MIBR suffered the ignominy of getting slapped in qualification for the Rio Major, and now sit at 0-1 after losing to Flamengo. Surely they don’t falter twice in back-to-back qualifications?

A reminder that losing two games in the NA RMR does leave you out of contention, due to their being just five spots between 16 teams.

The rest of the results - for we must sleep - will be here.


The RMR special

Tune in to this week's episode of Overtime on Inferno where your favorite hosts aizyesque and Logan Ramhap go deep on the biggest news in CS:GO:

  • Who to look out for on B8 (smart)
  • Who to look out for on Into The Breach (smart)
  • Why OG might qualify (oops)

fnatic shock the world

Illustration by ANDYJ.  Source: The Simpsons (again andy?)

A lot has happened today, so bear with us.

Four teams you’d expect went 2-0 to kick off the RMRs, with NAVI, FaZe, fnatic, and B8 all picking up two wins on day one.

Wait. What?

fnatic went 2-0?

Yeah, believe it. They took down Viperio in overtime, a mightily impressive result, and 1WIN in regulation. We felt awful for poor Girafffe, who dropped 43 kills and was let down pretty horribly by his teammates, one of whom collected just 12 kills.

Oh, and B8. We suppose that was surprising as well. Not least because they were given a weak seed and had to beat both MOUZ and to do so. We think they mightn’t get Ancient too much more, this event.

FaZe coasted past OG and stood tall against Apeks to put themselves one game from the next stage, while NAVI took down Into The Breach in double OT (best not to ask. Opening game NAVI are an odd team) and smacked Falcons.

Leaving FaZe vs NAVI as a BO3 game today. Mmmmmmm.

OG bounced back from the 10-16 loss to FaZe to… lose 9-16 to GamerLegion. Eesh. They’re joined by Sprout, SAW, and Viperio in the 0-2 bracket. Sprout lost to Falcons and then got battered by Into The Breach, who had CYPHER to thank for a superb performance.

Turns out UK CS isn’t that bad. It’s at least better than… checks notes… Romanian CS.

Viperio got clapped by Bad News Eagles after their close loss to fnatic, while SAW failed to take revenge on VP and then lost to MOUZ. They have OG in an elimination game tomorrow.

Everyone else is 1-1. Obviously. We’re sure you figured that out, but you know, just for the Americans.

The next set of games can be found here - or just rawdog it and open up the stream, and allow yourself to be surprised. We find life is fun that way.


New HUD alert, what do you think? Reply and let us know


Cool stuff for cool people

🏆 More RMR content?

  • Snappi thinks the seeding is slightly unbalanced for the EU RMRs. You reckon?
  • peacemaker has left TeamoNe. He… doesn’t do a lot to counter the narrative about himself.

👀 Cool stuff

  • DemoDive allows you to find what you want out of a demo faster than your puny eyes and brain could ever imagine. Ya silly goober.
  • New BNE coach Devilwalk did an interview with some friends of the newsletter over at Insite. He ‘doesn’t consider winning the Major a big achievement’. Yeah, we don’t know either.
  • BLAST put out a long-form article about kennyS and his potential fairytale run back to where it all began. And it was written by someone very cool, apparently.
  • If we had £220, we might just buy one of these wicked bomber jackets from Vitality. Seriously. That could make even the ugliest TLDR writer look like, well, you. Our much more attractive reader.

🔫 Counter-Strike

  • It’s easier than ever to hit headshots. Good news for some of you. Really good news for us.

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