The compass points north for FURIA

We have absolutely no idea what’s going on in YaLLa Compass 2024.

Not just because you’re not allowed to clip anything, for some reason. Not just because it’s coming to the end of the season and we assumed an event like this would be filled with teams we’ve never heard of - but because it’s mental.

FURIA are actually winning games, for a start.

It’s been a while since we saw a good face of FURIA, and when they lost their first game we were all expecting more of the same old rubbish they’d been delivering, but they fired back to win all four other BO1s to top their group - with BetBoom in second place, by the way.

fnatic stole the third spot, which means that Complexity, BIG and Eternal Fire all miss out in Group B. Eternal Fire’s only win came over BIG, and BIG’s only win was FURIA’s only loss.

What on Earth is going on?

In the A group, things made a little more sense. A little bit, anyway. Sashi beat Astralis, but lost every other game, while ENCE similarly stumbled to a ignominious end, going out 1-4.

HEROIC’s patchy form continued, but Astralis snuck in in 3rd, leaving TheMongolz and Ninjas in Pyjamas at the top with four wins apiece.

Yes, that NIP. Honestly, we’re sort of glad to see them looking like a real team again. It’s no fun punching down that much - and if we’ve learnt anything about them, it’s that pride always comes before a fall.

TheMongolz’ only loss came to Astralis to close out the group, and they seem to be in fine form. Perhaps their time has come - or perhaps they too are just looking good against new teams in a smaller tournament.

Time will tell.

Death by Update

Valve’s recent Major rulebook changes have claimed their first victim.

If you are a devoted Tier 2/3 follower who rarely misses a CCT game, you’ve likely heard of iNation. If not, it probably means you have a life.

The Serbian org has announced they are ceasing operations and releasing their roster, who are now open to new offers. iNation cited Valve’s “recent update concerning the Major and RMR” as the reason behind their decision.

Now, if you are out of the loop, here’s the recap: open qualifiers are dead. From now on, if you’re a random 5 stack with Major dreams, you better start grinding Valve’s Standings.

After qualifying for the Paris Major RMRs through the open qualifiers, iNation felt like the uphill journey wasn’t for them, and pulled the plug on the project. According to the org, Valve’s decision “significantly impacted our core objectives and reduced the feasibility of achieving our goals”.

However, they hope “this is a temporary farewell and not a permanent goodbye”, leaving us to wonder if this is just an isolated case or the beginning of a cascading effect that could change the landscape of competitive CS.

Where does Stewie go?

We are all wrong sometimes, but few are as wrong as consistently, as stylishly and as amusingly as our pair of half-wit hosts. Stewie2k lifted the trophy and proved them both wrong. HA! Fools.

Grand Theft Data

60 days after being unbanned from Faceit, NA player nbgee12 has gotten re-banned, this time permanently for attempting to steal SSDs belonging to players at IEM Dallas.

You read that right, this genius decided that it would be a good idea to piss in the cereal of the company who just unbanned him. As nbgee12 himself recalls on stream, he was on a Discord call whilst he entered the venue at 4 AM. He then went ahead and took SSDs belonging to the likes of Stewie2K and NiKo, and brought them to his hotel.

He was quickly caught thanks to CCTV footage, and was originally handed a 5 year ban before it was elevated to being permanent.

Now you might wonder what caused someone with eyes on going pro in CS2 to do this, we did too. nbgee12 himself came out and blamed marijuana use for his direction. That might have worked during reefer madness, but not now.

G2’s manager Peca raises valid points about security at events, and how this costs valuable prep time. We’re lucky all that happened was that a few SSDs were stolen, who knows what someone with bad intentions could’ve done.

Now excuse us, we’re going to enjoy a joint and rob a bank.

🗣️ Stewie2K speaks up following Dallas

🔥 We are so back

🏆 Collector items for the future?

This TL;DR was written by aizyesque, shoko, Horizzon and benji.
Welshy coded the email.

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