CS 1.7 is nearly here

The virgin “I miss CSGO” vs the chad “I miss 1.6”.

If you’re a chad, and also a boomer, good news. You can actually play a fully remastered 1.6 called CS:Legacy, complete with the movement that everyone fell in love with back then. And by everyone, we mean people over 30.

But hey, if n0thing is excited, then so are we!

This isn’t just a mod, either. This is a fully custom-built game from the ground up. Even the members of tl;dr who weren’t around in 1955 when CS 1.6 came out can get involved and figure out how the CS2 sausage was made – and importantly, all the things they’ve lost over the years.

We can’t wait to be wall-banged from angles that don’t even exist anymore.

Just listen to that sound of the Deagle, look at the hops, look at pool_day. It’s so beautiful. We cannot wait to get stuck in.

Tangentially related is Classic Offensive, a similar project that definitely will not get shut down by Valve. For those of you who struggle to read sarcasm in text, that definitely wasn’t sarcastic.

Classic Offensive is apparently being released after eight years and will probably be shut down within eight months, so nothing threatens the case-money-making machine. It looks like a blast, though.

God, we love nostalgia. It’s amazing. It used to be even better, though.

The road to Lisbon begins

There’s no rest for the wicked.

After 3 weeks of ESL Pro League, we’re diving straight into more Counter-Strike with the start of BLAST Open Lisbon in Copenhagen.

BLAST Lisbon in Copenhagen? If you’re confused, we don’t blame you. The group stage is taking place in Denmark’s capital, while the playoffs will head to Portugal one week from now.

Group A kicked off with four matches, two of which were (expected) demolitions. First up, Team Spirit made quick work of The Huns, with donk doing what donk does best. There’s not much you can do against a 1.90 rating performance, but at least nin9 gave us one of the best CS2 clips we’ve seen so far.

The same can’t be said for Astralis, who have no clips worth showing.

The team was sent to count stars by Vitality, only winning 10 rounds across two maps. To give you a sense of how badly Astralis were obliterated, device had the team’s best rating at a measly 0.81, while cadiaN posted a 0.45 and only killed seven enemies the entire series. We’re not joking.

Aside from the incredibly close MOUZ game against Falcons – in which Brollan and co. narrowly came out on top – Day 1 wrapped up with a hilarious series between FaZe and Virtus.Pro. The first two maps went to overtime, with both teams trading blows.

However, the same can’t be said for the Dust 2 decider. FaZe somehow managed the impossible, putting on a throwing masterclass that would make Astralis proud, and ultimately ended up humiliated in a brutal 13-0 loss.

Unfortunately, Group B wasn’t as thrilling, with two sweeps in the opening matches of the day - G2 and Eternal Fire both took down Imperial and Liquid, respectively.

The real highlight of these series was undoubtedly huNter-, who seemed possessed by donk’s spirit. He absolutely popped off on Mirage, posting his best career rating with a staggering 2.67, racking up 36 kills in just 21 rounds. Bonkers.

On the other side of the bracket, M80 put up a valiant effort against The MongolZ, who are undeniably one of the toughest teams in the world when it comes to raw firepower. However, they faltered in the Inferno decider, in a 13-3 beatdown.

Day 2 ended much like Day 1 began, with an expected 2-0 in the series that saw NAVI send FURIA down to the lower bracket.

The action continues today, as we head into Group A’s upper semis and lower bracket. You can expect some interesting matchups, including Spirit vs. MOUZ and Astralis vs. FaZe.

We’ll be back monday morning with a recap on the rest of the group play through to the semis, and a preview of the group finals that take place that same day.

G2 Boombl4? Liquid Snax? What are you saying?

Vitality are so good they’re barely even worth talking about, so instead we talked about NBK, Snax, Boombl4, dexter and… fiiiine, we’ll talk about Vitality.

Major mover to major soother

Given that CS: Legacy has put us in a nostalgic mood, we think it’s time for another edition of First Game/Last Game where we take a look at a pro players first and last game (duh).

The player in question? Former (thanks, donk) youngest Major MVP and catalyst for the death of Counter-Strike, Kjaerbye.

Why Kjaerbye? Well, because he made the news this week for making an interesting offer to some of his former competitors.

There are plenty of jokes to be made about a male masseuse, but we’d consider ourselves to be above them. However, if you’re wondering if anyone took him up on the offer, apEX did. French people. They’re shameless.

Anyway, how about Kjaerbye’s first game?

His first HLTV recorded game was a qualifier for Copenhagen Games 2013 while playing for a team called myRevenge. They played on Inferno against German team DRUCKWELLE and… well, we can’t tell you much more than that, because there’s no record to be found. In fact, if you want any stats from an early-Kjaerbye game, you have to go a whole year into the future.

So who was in that first game?

AcilioN was, who you might remember for being the 87th best Danish IGL, and so was BERRY, the current coach of 9INE. Considering BERRY is known for teaching people a lot about the game, he could’ve at least taught Kjaerbye how to spray properly.

Rounding out the myRevenge team was xanzir - yeah, we don’t know either - and mupzG, who was VAC banned not long after, but has since played for Copenhagen Wolves after being unbanned in CS2.

As for DRUCKWELLE, none of their players ever achieved anything, but that’s nothing new for German CS.

Kjaerbye’s final game is much more bizarre. Coming just last year, it was a 13-8 defeat at the hands of Danish opponents in Sashi, but Kjaerbye was playing for JiJieHao alongside players from four different countries, including Jordanian-streets-won’t-forget player ISSAA.

It was a rather pitiful performance from the MVP of ELEAGUE Major Atlanta. Kjaerbye could only muster a 7-16 statline in his final game, making him by far the lowest-rated player on the server.

A game that summed up the final years of Kjaerbye’s career perfectly. Like all stars that once shine brightly, eventually, that light has to dim.

Well, Kjaerbye, at least we’ll always love you for your great dress sense, shaky aim, and the fact you snaked Astralis.

But that doesn’t mean we forgive you for the monster that snaking created.

🇺🇸 NA CS really going through it rn

🥶 Fresh (or deepfrozen) rosters

🎥 Absolute cinema

This TL;DR was written by aizyesque, shoko, AN1MO and napz.
Welshy coded the email and Crash_ copy edited.

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