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May 15, 2020

Do matches take too long to finish? Is NiP the worst overtime team in history? Has Fnatic peaked? So many questions, and we have the answers.

So long and BanKs for all the cash

Illustration by NovaH. Photo source:

Pro tip: if you do manage to get away with making $200k a day from a betting website and never admitting to it, don't then just... admit it.

FaZe BanKs, the co-owner of FaZe Clan, also boasted about bribing a government official in Antigua. Now, we're no legal eagles (we prefer the Desert kind), but that seems, at best, really illegal.

Ever wonder how FaZe managed to buy their original CS roster from G2? Apparently CSGOWild paid for that. BanKs told us all that the government put no value on skins, but an entire CSGO roster for five days work? That's valuable.

The lack of guilt in BanKs' interview is pretty chilling - the guy made millions of pounds, and we doubt it was all clean. The CSGO gambling websites were known for having substandard barriers of entry - that is to say, children were allowed to 'gamble', as it wasn't legally gambling.

FaZe brushed it off, suggesting he just misspoke. For one hour and fifteen minutes. That's a lot of misspeaking, BanKs.


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Road to Rio gets winded for Fnatic

Well, there's one straight path. FaZe are just driving a train through the middle of it, leaving cars and bodies strewn across it. They're smashing everyone.

They did lose a map to NiP, and it took two overtimes to get there, but they're still unable to lose a game in the Road to Rio. They had NiKo to thank for that, the guy was irresistible. Maybe they're going to plow through everyone, get to the final and win it agai... oh, sorry, our bad.

shox is back to his best, seemingly, and bizarrely. He topfragged as Vitality beat GODSENT and got one more kill than ZywOo in a two-man takedown of NiP. NiP were desperately unlucky - they played six games of overtime and won only one more than as many Majors as FaZe have won, of them.

fnatic ended their Road to Rio in a super flat fashion, getting 2-0'd by Spaniards Movistar Riders, including getting set alight on Inferno, 16-2. It's hard to find any positives for fnatic, so enjoy some headshots from the other side. **

Oh, Heretics. It was so, so close, and so, so heartbreaking. Thrown round after loss on time after whiffed spray saw them choke a 12-5 lead on map three, somehow conspiring to give their French brethren a path into the lower final against Vitality. Nivera went from 20-4 to 24-16, which is... yeah that's a fall from grace.

And after all of kioShiMa's hard work, too.

They did manage to muscle past North, but unsurprisingly, as North still had Jumpy sitting in Kjaerbye's chair, but clearly without the shaky aim hacks in play.

Finally, just take a look at Allu's number of kills. Oof. He single-handedly tore Copenhagen Flames limb from limb.


Who is this 2Eggs and why is everybody talking about him?

Artwork by Crash_  based on photos from Nors3 and  Victória Kubiaki / Nahel Abdul Hadi via Unsplash

Here we are, back again talking about this 2Eggs person. But just like MIBR after roster changes, we swear this time it’ll be different.

For those who missed our rundown in last weeks edition, here's an even shorter one this time:

  • 2Eggs got himself a big payout for finding a few exploits in CSGO
  • He created some smart software to combat cheaters
  • And built a CSGO Update Bot for Telegram messenger, together with another big CSGO Twitter guy called Nors3...

Our very own napz, hit up Nors3, a long time reader of the TLDR, for a chat about all the drama surrounding 2Eggs. Call it protein-filled trouble, and make it double.

Nors3 explained how he got to meet 2Eggs in the first place and how he never saw reason to not believe him up until recently. But of course, not every egg is golden.

Just like dessert - the best should be saved for last, so if you want to figure out what was the breaking point for the Spaniard, head over to the full interview here.

We promise, no more egg-based puns.


"zonic's lost the dressing room!"

BLAST are apparently contemplating allowing teams to change players mid-match - and being able to change between maps has always been allowed in BLAST tournaments, but has never been utilised.

This would allow ENCE to sub out Allu for Jamppi, or Astralis to sub out Device for JUGi (if Device's arms suddenly fell off, or something) at HALF-TIME in a map. Got a T-side specialist who doesn't have the patience for CT side? Got an angle holder who can't find picks for himself? This is perfect for you.

As football fans, some of us at TLDR are happy we might be able to blame the coach. We expect to see some angry Danes on Astralis Fan TV shouting 'Zonic out' for subbing in es3tag.

C9's Dan Fiden loves the idea as a way to see more young talent stepping up, while stuchiu summed up the pros and cons of trying it out for yourself. neL believes Magisk might be able to take up leading duties if gla1ve drops out, while Nikolaj Nyholm is courting Kjaerbye quite openly. Need an eighth, already?


Too much CS?

  • Pimp reckons 15 rounds a half is too much - gla1ve agrees. We personally like Counter-Strike, and don't mind more of it.
  • Subtitles on - old school NaVi are back.
  • Bad News Bears have disbanded - another victim of VALORANT, along with leaf.
  • Speaking of which... Zellsis said some stuff he might regret.
  • Source 2 is 'very very close'. We think the 18th is the day.

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