A collapse of monumental proportions

Harry Richards
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Illustration by Andy.

A Ukrainian, an eagle, and a mouse walk into a bar. And beat the crap out of FaZe.

The Intel Grand Slam champions of a few weeks ago were supposed to be at the RMR, but we’re not convinced.

This was some other guys, just renting their jerseys and their likenesses. Where were Twistzz’ headshots, broky and ropz’s 2v5s, or karrigan’s insane mid-rounds?

So how did this even happen? When we left you on Thursday, FaZe were 2-0.

First was a loss to NAVI. Fine, npl had a life event.

Then Bad News Eagles. AGAIN. Maybe they’re a bogey team, but still. This is FAZE. You shouldn’t have bogey teams.

Suddenly FaZe are 2-2, with a low seed (thanks to going 0-3 in Rio) and drawn against MOUZ.

But that’s fine, right? It’s squeaky bum time, sure — but MOUZ have always been the budget FaZe.

Then the game started. And if you took the name badges off, it was hard to tell who was the budget version of who.

At 13-13 on the decider — Inferno of course — the bomb is down on B. It’s a situation we’ve seen ropz and broky clutch a million times before. Two of the best closers in the world, against an off-colour IGL who has 13 kills and 22 deaths.

Who wins? dexter of course.

Still, FaZe get us to overtime. This is the team that don’t lose close games, or at least never used to. One clutch won’t change that, right?

That, though, was in the old days. This time was xertion’s time. It was MOUZ’s time.

FaZe can still qualify for the Major in the Last Chance bracket next week, but there are no guarantees. We really might have a Major without either of the two most recent champions present.

RMR CS is one hell of a drug.

April 9, 2023

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