RMRs and Heartbreak

Elliott Griffiths
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Illustration by NovaH. Source: Astralis, shox

It’s the moooost, wonderful tiiiime, of the year.

A time where some of the best teams in the world are forced to slum it against tier 15 teams you’ve barely heard of, and quite often lose.

We’ll let you decide which side of the coin Nakama land on.

That’s shox and SmithZz’ team, for what it’s worth, who crashed out before even making it to any games on HLTV at their hometown Major. Qualifiers. For the qualifiers. Of the RMR.

It’s barely even a fall from grace any more, it’s more like a dig to the core of the earth as fast as humanly possible.

It’s also not been a great day for Denmark at the start of the Closed Qualifiers. Though Astralis did win their second game, they fell to LDLC at the start of the day. We might actually collapse with laughter if they do go out in the Swiss system in the RMR qualifiers.

Copenhagen Flames, meanwhile, lost two games to Eternal Fire and Mixfits. No, we don’t know either. It’s Kyojin, devoduvek (remember him?) and three players we’ve never heard of.

One team who won’t be getting their hearts broken is the best team in the world. G2 slapped PGE Turow and Astralis-slayers LDLC, and are now at 2-0, and there’s absolutely no way even G2 could mess this up.


9INE, Into the Breach and Tricked (who likely won’t exist soon) joined G2 in the 2-0 bracket, and can expect to find themselves in the RMR, while Ikla, B8 and PGE Turow will be fighting for their lives.

The latter has won just seven rounds in two maps, but in fairness, they played Astralis and G2.

There’s still a whole load of twists and turns to come, we’re sure of it, but none of them will include shox and SmithZz which, frankly, is incredibly amusing to us.

February 16, 2023

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