The dexter experiment (gone… right?)

Elliott Griffiths
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aizyesque
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Illustration by Fuffy

Of all the teams we expected to be writing about, MOUZ was maybe the last one. But finally, dexter went into his laboratory and found the experiment that worked.

The LANXESS Arena had forever evaded the German org, and while history has to change at some point, the present wasn’t exactly kind to them either. Nobody expected them to go through, and while an opening loss to NaVi was encouraging, ‘twas but a loss regardless.

But they smacked Heroic, outclassed Vitality and sucker punched NIP to complete a swashbuckling lower bracket run to the finals. They were behind after map one in both of the last two series’, but showed fortitude to close them out.

No, seriously. We’re being serious! MOUZ! Yes, that MOUZ!

They’ll be joined by the top two teams in the world - FaZe and NaVi - but nobody else from the top 10.

Astralis pulled their fingers out of their collective backsides and crushed both FURIA and Cloud9 to take their spot in the quarter-finals, despite a loss to FaZe, with their old enemies Liquid also making it.

YEKINDAR powered them to a victory over Cloud9, but as that star faded, ELiGE shone brightest when it mattered most against FURIA.

Even despite saffee’s heroics.

That leaves one team. Who could it be, you ask? Who have you not read in the losers story, who could it be?

In the distance, over the horizon, you see five cowboy-hat adorning Spaniards, riding giant Dragonites into the sun. The Movistar Riders made it happen.

How? Why? What? All questions you may have. All questions we do not have answers to.

They swept G2 aside and powered past a lacklustre Vitality to ensure a top six spot, and though they couldn’t close out a map lead against NaVi, it doesn’t matter.

They are on a streak of great performances, and only NaVi seem able to stop them. Luckily for them, the next time they can play NaVi?

The Grand Final.

Don’t count out the Riders.

July 10, 2022

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