Bringing sexy back (yeah)

Finally, some good f****ing foo- erm, Counter-Strike.

We’re just a week away from BLAST Fall Finals and ESL Challenger Jönköping, with groups being drawn and talent being announced - and man, we’ve missed Counter-Strike.

Yes, yes, there’s PARI Please and other random online tournaments named after betting companies going on. Yes, we could have been waking up at 4AM to watch a few hours of IEM Sydney or CS Asia Championships, and sleepwalking through life for a week.

There’s nothing quite like a LAN tournament with some of the best in the world at a time we can watch, though.

BLAST Premier Fall Finals kicks off on Wednesday with FaZe vs NIP, Cloud9 vs NAVI (which is a mouthwatering prospect), Vitality vs the ghost of Heroic and Complexity vs Astralis to end it all.

That runs until Sunday, overlapping with the three-day event in Sweden. Jönköping welcomes Monte, Virtus.pro, GamerLegion, Eternal Fire, MIBR, TYLOO, Looking4Org and Nouns in the type of event that screams routine VP victory.

Back at BLAST, we’re probably also looking at a routine victory for FaZe if the last few events are anything to go off. They’ve been ridiculously dominant, and we’re praying for a Cloud9 level up or Vitality throwback just to try and match them.

Whatever happens next week, we’re just excited to watch Counter-Strike, live, on LAN, without being half asleep.

Don’t let us down, lads.

Good News, Eagles

It’s actually happened, Bad News Eagles have finally been signed by an organisation. What’s next, flying pigs?

The BNE boys have been signed by Guild Esports (of David Beckham fame) which puts an end to a nearly two-year-long journey without an organization. Back in February of 2022 the current roster left BLINK and started the search for a new organisation with the help from James Banks, who joined the org as manager a bit later that same year.

Now, three major appearances, 18 top-three finishes, and one player change later, they’ve finally been signed. It’s one hell of a story of perseverance, just the kind we love to see! And they even got to keep part of their name under this new banner: Guild Eagles.

Earlier this week, the team already had its debut games for the new org in the CCT Online Finals 4. Unfortunately the eagles didn’t soar this time, as they lost 0-2 first to Preasy in the UB quarter final, and then got the boot from ALTERNATE aTTaX, also 0-2.

But, it’s CCT. Move along, nothing to see here…

Guild Eagles are

🇽🇰 juanflatroo⁠
🇽🇰 SENER1⁠
🇽🇰 sinnopsyy⁠
🇽🇰 gxx-
🇽🇰 rigoN
⁠
🇸🇪 Devilwalk⁠ (coach)

Watch your back

Rostermania appears to never ever end, and we’re almost becoming tired of talking about all the exciting moves that are swirling around. Only joking, we’re never bored of hearing our own voices.

The left hand path

Do you believe in karma?

Heroic rented out a billboard to advertise that they were re-signing known wrong’un HUNDEN, and ever since then they’ve had an endless streak of bad luck.

Choking semi-finals, getting betrayed by the aforementioned HUNDEN, and now the crème de la crème of snakings from two of their star players.

jabbi and stavn supposedly waited ‘til after the benching of talisman cadiaN to tell Heroic that they were dipping to Astralis, and though Heroic made a long statement essentially begging other teams to buy them, it seems now the deed is done.

stavn going behind someone’s back? Who could have guessed?

We suppose this is just what happens when you sign people like HUNDEN - his seedy aura spreads throughout the team and creates an unstoppable typhoon of backstabbery and betrayal. This is simply the price of making a Faustian bargain.

HLTV reported that Astralis are very close to completing the deal, but stopped short of telling us exactly who will be out of the team. We would assume Buzz and b0RUP would be departing, given the furore around Staehr’s signing, but who knows.

Someone’s going to have to be the battering ram should Buzz leave.

Astralis need to be careful, though. Remember that a man who would cheat to be with you, will also probably cheat on you.

If they start trying to kick device, well… you know what to do.

📺 Things to watch

⚡️ Quick hits

This TL;DR was written by aizyesque, NER0, Horizzon and Crash_.
Crash_ coded the email and aizyesque copy edited.

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