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July 10, 2020

It's time for the player break, but luckily for you we don't stop because we got a Major winner with an epic comeback and a Major winner that's a free agent. CIS CS:GO is never boring.

BIG is the best team in the World

Illustration by NovaH.

If a year ago you'd said to us, "TL;DR, XANTARES is going to be on the #1 ranked team in the world next year", we'd block you.

But before we did that, we'd sarcastically respond "Heh, why, are all the games online? Not allowed to go to LANs because of some CRAZY new virus?"

So uh, yeah. BIG #1. Nothing weird going on here. Completely normal scene, BIG are just the best team. No questions asked.

In their defence, where many teams have used the onlineverse as an excuse, BIG have knuckled down. They didn't give a Scheisse that online play is supposed to be random, that we should stop caring about CS right now. They practiced, and it paid off.

syrsoN has become prime kennyS in the last few months somehow. He's the best thing online since UberEats, even if he just refuses to use rifles. tabseN is still a monster, while the rest have done enough to hold their weight and keep BIG at the top.

Some people, if we can call French guys that, were a little frustrated that the team who are quite clearly the best team around right now, as proven by the fact they keep winning games and tournaments, are the number one team.

We don't know either.


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es3tag to contribute on and off the server

"I am not here not to play" is like the least confident way anyone could be confident.

You could just say "I'm here to play" and look at least vaguely confident, but the double negative is a little concerning.

es3tag spoke to HLTV about his controversial move to Astralis - controversial for a few reasons. His move broke the monotony of Astralis' own golden five, opened up the new fad of six man rosters, and COMPLETELY screwed FunPlus Phoenix and Heroic.

He reckons there's no anger between he and his old teammates, and that they respect his choice to go to Astralis. Yes Patrick, we're SURE that's the case.

He also said he's motivated to fight for his spot, and will 'preferably [contribute] on the server', which makes us think he's cooking the dinner when he's not playing or something.

Whether or not Xyp9x and gla1ve will be there to fight for their spot is still up in the air - while gla1ve is expected to return, news around Xyp9x has been kept schtum.

Whatever happens, we're quite excited to see the new Astralis after the player break. And the Danish shuffle? Now that will be exciting.


TLDR's Top 10 CS-Movies of all time

Illustration by Crash_

Counter-Strike is alright, but it's ruined by those people who keep like, staying alive and throwing grenades and all that nonsense. Saving guns? Defusing bombs? All nonsense.

Why not just distill it down to what we're all here for: Frags.

TLDR's new blogging recruit PeeKay brings the best of the best, cutting out all the nonsense. No bad frags, no JAME time, no smoke line-ups. All frags, all the time, all killer, no filler.

He breaks down the best ten of all time, 'cause that man has watched an absolute metric ton of fragmovies. He's seen more kills than one of those poor hostages on Office in the last few weeks.

We guarantee you've seen at least one of these, and if not, then you must have been living in some Imaginary Places.

I'm just here to hold your hand when you die...


The Cheater becomes the Cheated

  • Youtuber and Twitch streamer ScriptKid - appropriate name - has foiled the plans of the many players trying to download his "cheat". Instead of giving them an unfair advantage, the software ruins their gameplay by pulling some tricks on the user.
  • Famous aggro awper mertz and lesser known rifler maNkz are apparently set to be the next two players on Copenhagen Flames' roster. Sometimes we forgot how many good Danish CS players there are.
  • Our favourite Irishman - and no it's not the Lucky Charms Leprechaun - took time to explain the situation between c0ntact and LETN1.
  • Praise the Lord, or rather the X God, as he has been unbanned from Twitch. You can't censor the sexiest man alive, Twitch - it just won't fly.
  • Boombl4 gave us a very interesting insight on how he has been dealing with the pandemic so far.
  • Brazilian AWPer saffee has been signed by paiN. paiN, all we know is paiN.
  • Major-winner Hobbit has decided to leave Winstrike for unknown reasons, with coach hooch standing in for him. Maybe he has to go to Mordor?
  • Dima has achieved his goal of killing 100k bots in the popular aim_botz map, and that in 18 hours. We did the math, it would take us 18 months.
  • Reddit user u/NotNaythan shared an interesting clip of him betraying a teammate in his competitive match. Et tu, NotNaythan?
  • Edward has seemingly decided he's not done with competitive CS quite yet, and has returned with a team called "Selectah". Let's hope it's more Godward and less Botward.
  • Maths is hard, or at least it is for Twitter user tweisscs. We all fail sometimes Tweiss, but not in front of such an audience.

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