…they’d look like this. Because Carlsberg is awful.

“siuhy looks like the perfect fit”, “Liquid get an IGL they desperately need”.

Yeah, good one TLDR. Bloody idiots.

Liquid got pumped by Legacy in siuhy’s first game, and we’re not joking. Forget 13 rounds, NAF didn’t even get 13 kills in the series, and THAT is worrying for Liquid.

They can deal with a lot of things in a game; Twistzz’ calling, ultimate struggling against a top tier AWPer, the tears from former American fans getting in their eyes and stopping them from seeing the crosshair - but they can’t win with NertZ and NAF going a combined 30-62.

These are meant to be your hard hitters - they can’t go missing.

We’d like to shoutout dumau on the positive side, though, after he dropped 41 - he’s an extremely talented player who seemed to get lost in the shuffles when Brazilian teams changed things, and he’s showing exactly why he used to be such an exciting prospect.

Speaking of us being stupid little dumb-dumbs, Astralis beat FaZe after we said Kjaerbye would be their best player. Perhaps he’d also be FaZe’s.

It was a very good for American fans, at least, who both saw Liquid lose and bizarrely, Complexity win. 2-0! Over Falcons! That’s a legit win, or at least sort of. We have no idea if Falcons are good, bad, or a secret third thing.

Make no mistake, though; this was a pasting. Falcons got 11 rounds. hallzerk, when he’s on it, remains a terrifying player. If he was ‘on it’ more often, he’d be one of the best AWPers in the world, and we’re not joking. He was everywhere.

Speaking of Falcons, m0NESY helped G2 to a routine 2-0 win over GamerLegion with 40 kills.

3DMAX remain a real pain in the derriere to play against and took The MongolZ to the wire, and finished them off in impressive fashion. Colour us impressed.

VP lost to Rare Atom. That’s the punchline. electroNic got outfragged by somebody by a whole 14 kills. He used to be up there with NiKo, olofmeister and DEVIL, for crying out loud. Bring back Jame, we say.

Aurora at least had a good debut, beating paiN 2-1 quite predictably, and FURIA took care of business against APOGEE. Sadly, those results don’t let us take the Mickey out of anyone, so they’re an afterthought.