The magic has run out, the bulls-t is no more, and FaZe - it’s time to blow it up and start all over again.

Seriously, if you can’t even qualify for the Major after attending a DraculaN - where you lost to fnatic - and some random LAN in Belgrade - where you lost to BIG - what is the point in this team anymore?

I say this like I didn’t know it was going to happen. Go back to December, when everyone was high on FaZe copium as they pulled off their miracle Major run, and look what I said on Snake & Banter. Now look at the comments, where every dribbler and mouthbreather in existence told me broky was back and jcobbb was good now.

Well, how does my milk taste today, d-ckheads?

The fact is, this team was never good. Now, Twistzz has been particularly bad this year, but he was never going to keep up the form he was displaying towards the end of last year, because no one magically just becomes one of the best players in the world at 26 years old.

That’s not me saying he was never good btw, he just wasn’t a superstar, just to be clear.

As for broky and jcobbb, well, their continued existence on this roster is the real example of the poison that festered in FaZe as a result of making the final in Budapest. jcobbb was never good enough, and broky was so bad they had already benched him once. To pretend they were going to have turned it around from a few decent maps at a Major in which they should have gone out in Stage 1 was both arrogant and naive.

So where does that leave you, FaZe? Where does your lack of proactivity leave you, now that you have failed to qualify for the Cologne Major this summer?

I’ll tell you - deep in the sh-tter.

Think about what will happen now: frozen, who is actually one of the best players in the world in his role, will be begging to leave. NAVI have supposedly been after him for a while, and at this point, you’re better off cashing in than allowing yet another star to leave for nothing.

As a result of that, you can then only remove one of broky or jcobbb. So which do you pick? The AWPer who would have bad ratings even if he were an IGL? Or the player you have decided is so bad that he can only be used as bait, and who even then gets far fewer kills than he should get?

Keeping either of them is a poisoned chalice, and this is also whilst pretending karrigan isn’t out of his depth in modern CS out of some form of nostaliga that even I can’t escape.

And so that will leave you with a team lacking a superstar, and with at least one player on it that has no business playing in tier one competition. A truly hopeless endeavour.

So, FaZe, enjoy tier two, because you’ll be there for a while. And I can’t say you don’t deserve it, either.