Astana playoffs kick off today (Aurora and MOUZ are probably playing right now if you’re reading this close to the send time), and there’s some pretty good-looking games to look forward to.

The aforementioned Aurora vs MOUZ game should be a highlight (which makes it a shame that it’s on at the crack of dawn), and we’re feeling the result could be very different to the last time they played.

2-0 in favour of MOUZ that time, they were in their typical state of f-cking up teams in a group stage then, but we all know what happens to them when they have to play in front of people. Not just that, but xertioN will almost certainly struggle to maintain his crazy CT ratings, which could see the game flip in the direction of XANTARES and co.

That game will be followed by Spirit vs G2, which also looks to be a bit of a barn burner.

Given that G2 struggle to hold their composure, it should be Spirit’s all day, but we’re never convinced by Spirit, and they’re prone to disappointing in playoffs. A messy 2-1 feels like, and honestly, we don’t know which way to call it.

Next up is the p-ss break match - 9z vs magic. Both of these teams should consider themselves very lucky to be in the playoffs - 9z especially will now be horrid for the rest of the year - and to be completely frank, we just don’t care about this game.

Sorry.

Finally we come to FURIA vs Falcons, which you’ll be glad to know we absolutely do care about.

FalleN versus karrigan for one of the final times ever, it’s another match-up that’s straight down the middle.

FURIA have some out-of-form stars, while Falcons have to deal with inconsistent NiKo, kyousuke’s stage fright, and the Danish disasterclass duo. That makes it sound horrible, but when you consider that karrigan might carry over his arena-induced ADHD and turn kyousuke into the second coming of makazze… it’s a recipe for absolute cinema.

Who wins? Not a f-cking clue. Do we care? No, not really. Are we going to watch it with our c-cks out and a box of tissues at the ready? Abso-f-cking-lutely.

Listen, we just like granny p-rn. Sue us.