Now we’re f–ing talking.

Team Vitality. Natus Vincere. Two teams enter, one leaves in ignominy, the other in glory.

IEM Cologne will crown one of you the Archbishop (we used to fall asleep in Religious Education) of the Cathedral.

Games don’t get much bigger than this, and we’ve got two of the best in the bloody business going toe-to-toe in a BO5. If Carlsberg made Sundays, it wouldn’t look anything like this, because Carlsberg is disgusting. But if Peroni made Sundays…

Vitality were completely untested in their semi-final as they romped to a win over SAW, while NAVI actually had to work for theirs, but they both looked excellent in different ways. You’d be hard-pressed to say this wasn’t the best final possible.

We’re certainly excited. We’ve just bought some nappies, so we won’t have to leave the arena at any point. So don’t sit next to us if you value your sense of smell. This is as good as it gets in Counter-Strike, esports, or any kind of competition.

ZywOo. w0nderful. b1t. jL. Spinx. FlameZ. mezii. iM. Aleksib.

They’re all brilliant players, and it’s going to be incredible.

Did we forget anyone? Well, if we did, they can’t have been that important. It’s not like they’d ever put up a clip of the day or anything.