At the end of every rostermania, there’s always a conversation about which players still remain without a team.

Normally, the conversations go a little bit like this: “Bad. Bad. He should be on a team. Worst player I’ve ever seen. Should be [insert tier three national team here. Bad.”

This time, however, there’s actually some solid names still available.

SunPayus, CYPHER, lauNX, Krimbo, jL, chopper, siuhy, MAJ3R, Perfecto. kl1m. broky. degster. ultimate. Ag1L. FL1T. nota. yxngstxr. soulfly.

All of them are available. All of them are talented. One of those statements is a lie.

If we look past the lie, though, it’s actually easy to see a genuinely good team in there. And we’d like to put it together now, just so the mildly ambitious org owner who is reading this great newsletter can take our ideas and start making some phone calls.

Let’s start with the AWPer. kl1m has the highest ceiling, but he’s a bit of an idiot, so he’s out. degster should be on a team, but we like players who actually get visas, so maybe not. broky and ultimate are, well, broky and ultimate, so our choice is SunPayus.

As for IGL, chopper and MAJ3R both feel like poisoned chalices. Given that siuhy worked with both ash and sycrone before stinking up the gaff on Liquid, there’s reason to be concerned about him, too, but we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt so as not to f-ck ourselves from the get-go.

That leaves us with the rifle core, and for us, this is where the potential of this team really starts to shine through.

There’s a conversation to be had about CYPHER vs lauNX, especially with the comments made by coolio on the BLAST stream yesterday, but given that lauNX just has more top-level experience, we’ll go with him.

We could debate between Krimbo and Ag1L, too, but we want to see Ag1L back with the rest of the Portugeezers, so that debate is over.

As for the final piece of the puzzle, who else than jL? He’s a Major winner, and an MVP at that. He’s also going to bring the vibes to this roster, and they might need that as they battle their way through VRS in the early stages.

Finally, we’ll give this bunch of misfits a coach, and that coach will be sprayxd.

Is it because he came on the podcast? Partially. Do we think he’s good anyway? Yes we do.

So, org owners out there (especially you H3CZ), who like the look of this team, it will get you to a Major. You can thank us by putting our logo on your jerseys. Thanks.