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GUIDES
Simple Radar
© 2026 TLDR Media, All Rights Reserved.
No clickbait. It’s as s1mple as that.
The RMR takes no prisoners, with BOROS, three NIP players, two ITB players and the whole Astralis org getting caught in the maelstrom.
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If there is a God, he’s a poet.
Astralis’ trail down the left hand path of Counter-Strike has led to them stepping on fingers, burning bridges and ruining relationships - but it was seen as worthwhile, for the ends would justify the means.
Astralis left a line of bodies behind them. The problem is that they forgot to make sure they were all dead.
ENCE found themselves in a 2-2 game having only lost to Vitality and Spirit, which seems… well, fair enough. Astralis lost to Spirit too, but also to Heroic - which is, frankly, hilarious.
The Kingdom of Denmark sends its regards. No refunds.
The narrative Gods delivered us a perfect game - ENCE, with the hero gla1ve and his thirst for revenge, against the pantomime villain Astralis. It delivered.
gla1ve charged into battle face first, and put Astralis to the sword. He had plenty of help, of course, but he was the star of the show if not just because of who he is.
stavn and Jabbi completely disappeared, as if it were a film being produced in the most cliché Marvel-esque fashion. They have become the latest duo of Danish stars to be ruined by Astralis in record time.
We’re sure there’s nothing going on there.
Astralis have another chance to qualify through the Last Chance Qualifier starting today, starting with 9 Pandas, while gla1ve can sit back with his pipe and prepare for Copenhagen.
Anyone claiming bingo on their 2024 card, put your hands down. There’s no way you saw this one coming.
BOROS being benched in Falcons? Sure, that was pretty predictable, especially given the rumors of NiKo in silly seasons past. But signing s1mple, the GOAT, is not what we expected; especially not on a one-month loan.
With rumours swirling of a $100K loan fee for s1mple’s services, it’s not a cheap stunt from the Falcons’ camp either.
Sure if you compare that 100k to YEKINDAR’s reported buyout fee of 1,000.000 USD, it’s peanuts. Relatively, we’ll gladly take 100k if you’ve got it. But that 1 million buyout was for YEKINDAR’s transfer, not just a month of his time*.* And even if you still think that’s a fair price seeing as there’s quite a bit of CS to play in a month, you’re wrong. Falcons are only playing in BLAST Showdown. Buuuuuut, it is s1mple.
If you thought maybe they had an event not announced yet, it’s not that either.
Falcons Director of Esports hammered home that it was just to cover for Blast Showdown, and that it’s supposed to give them flexibility for a future fifth. **
But let’s be real. This is a glorified paid trial.
Falcons get to see what s1mple will perform like as a rifler, s1mple gets to see how he likes the team, and NAVI gets to make money either way. Sounds like good business to us.
In March Falcons will be:
🇩🇰 Snappi
🇪🇸 SunPayus
🇩🇰 Magisk
🇲🇪 Maden
🇺🇦 s1mple
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We will have some Danes in Copenhagen.
While dupreeh’s Major streak has been finally broken as Preasy lost to GUILD Eagles in a 1-2 game, ECSTATIC took control to knock the Eagles down into the Last Chance Qualifier and book their spot in Copenhagen.
They’ll be joined by HEROIC, who we recently realised stylise their name in all capitals, much to our chagrin. We digress, though - they dispatched of an otherwise-solid GamerLegion with consummate ease to prove why they’re better than Astralis.
Spirit breezed through over Heroic, which is why they were even in a 2-2 game. Vitality eased through 3-1, joined by Apeks. We, along with everyone else, are always happy to see STYKO succeed.
You might have mentioned we didn’t mention OG or Monte, and that was on purpose. Monte because while they lost, they clearly had some issues with sdy being ill and using a stand-in for a few games, and OG because we try to ignore their very existence.
Honestly, remembering OG exist is enough to ruin an otherwise good day.
OG lost to Apeks, ECSTATIC and GamerLegion to go out with a whimper, only beating Preasy in a BO1. Nexus and PERA were your 0-3 teams, to nobody’s surprise. PERA have been accused of cheating, but if they were, they weren’t doing it very well.
Cloud9 somehow bumbled their way to 3-0, outclassing Vitality despite Boombl4 being their AWPer and ZywOo being Vitality’s. In fact, it probably says a lot about how great Boombl4 is as an IGL that he was able to smash Vitality while having himself AWP.
MOUZ also swept through 3-0, and they’re looking damn spooky. siuhy might actually be the best IGL in the world. They two-zipped Spirit to book an early flight to Denmark.
This leaves Guild Eagles, GamerLegion and Astralis dropping to the Last Chance Qualifier, playing BetBoom, fnatic and 9 Pandas respectively.
