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GUIDES
Simple Radar
© 2026 TLDR Media, All Rights Reserved.
donk’s back on top, imagine our shock
PGL Astana is over and Spirit won, because of course they did. But it wasn’t without being pushed far further than they should’ve been by Astralis and FURIA.
Now it’s time for IEM Dallas, which will be better than PGL, but let’s face it, is still a warm up event.
IEM Dallas is set to begin barely 24 hours after the conclusion of PGL Astana. God, it’s a good thing we love Counter-Strike. This is a lot. Especially when it’s just a warm up for June’s main event.
At least the field for Dallas looks better - Vitality, MOUZ, and Falcons will all be in attendance. So too will FaZe, the first of their two events with s1mple, which we couldn’t be more excited about.
Do we expect the GOAT to turn around FaZe’s fortunes? Absolutely not. Are we anticipating toxicity between him and EliGE within three maps? Yes we are. Do we want that to happen? Yes we do.
Why? Because we’re bad people. Get over it.
Of course, there is a small part of us that hopes it all works out for FaZe over in Texas. We miss s1mple, it would be nice for this stint to be the catalyst for his return, we just have our doubts as to whether he can fix the clearly deep-rooted issues with FaZe.
We can’t believe we’re saying this, but we’re also looking forward to seeing more from FURIA. We were truly baffled when they announced the signings of YEKINDAR and molodoy, but the two new signings impressed in Kazakhstan and the Brazilian (ish) team look completely revitalised.
Their team is some weird, late-stage international meta bullshit, but we’re the bullshit specialists, so we’re big fans.
Falcons will also be an interesting prospect. After pushing Vitality close in their last two outings they’ve now actually had some time to practice, so it’s not out of the question that they’ll be able to leapfrog the World’s number one over in Dallas. MOUZ will also be looking to do the same, but we just have more faith in NiKo and m0NESY than we do xertioN and torzsi.
We also just still can’t believe that Brollan is a good IGL. It’s just not right.
It’s still going to take a lot for either team to actually topple Vitality, though. ropz and ZywOo are just too good, seeing them lifting the trophy just feels inevitable at this point. They’ll provide another banger BO5 final because they love CS as much as we do, but they’ll win it, and then they’ll go on and win the Major, too.
Listen, we aren’t advocates for gambling here at tl;dr, but we really have to give FURIA some credit for their willingness to gamble.
One of the two pleasant surprises at PGL Astana, they finished fourth in their debut event with molodoy and YEKINDAR, and they provided a lot of fun in doing so. Seeing YEKINDAR back to his best was a joy to behold and molodoy? Well, that kid has fans in us.
FURIA kicked off their playoffs with a win over MIBR in the quarters, then had us all dreaming in the semis as they opened the series against Spirit with a comfortable win on Train. Spirit never really looked threatened for the two remaining maps, but that’s not the point. The point is that FURIA actually managed to make a game against Spirit look competitive. In 2025. Wild.
One team that didn’t surprise us in Astana was the team that took the biggest gamble of all, NIP. They may have lost to Spirit in the quarter-finals, but getting there was all that mattered for them in their first tier-one LAN.
Blowing up their roster and starting again was a huge gamble considering the murky waters of VRS we were about to swim into, but now it’s paying off. Considering all of the garbage we’ve seen that organisation churn out in the last however many years, it’s nice to see.
The second pleasant surprise was that HooXi finally got to prove why G2 benching him was one of the worst decisions they’ve ever made. In just one event he’s turned an utterly abysmal Astralis into a team that can take a map off Spirit in a grand final, and dare we say it, actually somewhat likeable, too.
Christ, admitting that sent a chill down our spines.
Astralis made it to the final with a 2-1 win over Aurora, which included a 13-3 drubbing on the deciding map, Nuke. A result that makes us want to rant about Aurora disappointing us - again - we won’t do that this time, but only because we’re too happy for HooXi to actually care.
We will be going in on their quarter-final opponent, though, because we don’t care how much better Astralis looked at this event. They should never be beating NAVI. You’ll have to read on for that rant.
So, Astralis, for once we commend you. As the headline says, 99% of gamblers quit before they win big. You should’ve gambled on HooXi being the missing ingredient a long time ago, but you’ve done it now and it’s working.
Just don’t go and do what you always do and fuck it up.
Welcome to a new segment here in the tl;dr newsletter, which we’re going to be affectionately titling: “Sending X to the glue factory.”
But let’s make something clear: There’s going to be nothing affectionate about this segment. This segment will exist for when we’re simply just a bit tired of something*.* We might be jokers, but we’re also haters, and sometimes we just need to rant. It’s good for our health.
First up is NAVI. It pains us to say it, but this all needs to be said. So here’s why we’re sending NAVI to the glue factory.
Deep down we all knew that NAVI over-achieved in 2024, but we didn’t think it was to this degree.
Their Major was obviously a fluke, but the rest of the event wins and finals reached had us all convinced that this was a truly elite team. How wrong we were.
To their credit, they looked far better in the group stage of PGL Astana than they have for most of the year, but they were poor again when it actually mattered.
A team that looks completely out of sorts, b1t has vanished, jL is begging to just go and make bank streaming and screaming with ohnePixel, and w0nderful and iM are quaking at the thought of s1mple returning to the team. That last one is kinda fair, though. We dread to think what he’d do to them if they keep performing like this.
It was admirable last year. In an era of superstar-driven international teams, here was an international team powered by vibes and teamplay, by sunshine, rainbows, and love for one another. But that’s all gone now, and now it’s just increasingly more difficult to watch every time they fail.
They lost to Astralis at this event, for God’s sake,.
And look, we know we were positive about Astralis in the previous story, but that doesn’t change the point we made there. This. Team. Should. Never. Be. Losing. To. Astralis.
That is, unless the level of their 2024 over-achievement is still criminally undervalued, and that actually it was the greatest purple patch of all time. Maybe they are on the same level individually as Astralis’ players, and maybe that’s just something we have to come to terms with.
We wouldn’t like that, though, so we hope they can go and rediscover themselves elsewhere, because it really feels like this team needs to undergo some sweeping changes now. Poor Aleksib was practically crying out for it in a post-game interview following their loss to the Danes.
A slow, sad death for one of our favourite teams in CS history, we just hope they can go out with a bang in the Austin Major, because we’re sure we won’t be seeing in the same five players wearing the famous yellow and black come July.
donk.
That’s it. That’s the recap.
In Astralis’ first grand final appearance at a big event since 2019 - a run few saw coming, perhaps not even Astralis themselves - Team Spirit lived up to their favorite status. Powered by yet another donk masterclass, they secured the PGL Astana trophy in dominant fashion.
It all kicked off on Dust2, where Spirit came out firing on all cylinders. Up-and-coming young talent chopper put on his best donk impression, dropping a 13-2 scoreline in the first half and leading Spirit to a 11-1 lead. It didn’t take long for Spirit to close it out, sending the series to Nuke. Not much of a story here, just a map that screamed this series wasn’t gonna last long. We love us some foreshadowing.
Nuke stayed relatively close right up until the end, when chopper and donk pulled off some ridiculous clutches, snagging two massive rounds that pushed Spirit to a 2-0 series lead. If you haven’t seen those rounds, please do. Outrageous stuff.
Astralis had Nuke in the bag, managing to mount a comeback despite a shaky first half, but you just can’t hand over two nearly unlosable rounds back-to-back like that.
Also, be careful what you say to donk, the man does not pull punches.
Just when it looked like the series would come to an end on Mirage - one of Spirit’s best maps - the gigachad said not on my watch. The IGL turned into a star rifler and dropped a 1.51 rating performance in what was an Astralis 13-5 demolition. The break clearly did wonders for HooXi, who’s been playing above his usual level. G2 really was holding him back.
Despite donk’s shenanigans, Spirit just couldn’t keep pace. If donk doesn’t drop a multikill every other round or pull off some miracle play, the team tends to struggle, which is not a new issue, but definitely a worrying one.
Hopping onto de_train, the stabbi duo showed up and and seemed to hold off Spirit’s T-side comeback after a slow CT half.
Unfortunately for them, the beast woke up when it mattered most. Donk came through once again - and it doesn’t matter the weapon, he even clutches with the AWP.
The kid truly is inevitable.
In the end, this was the most likely outcome. Without the big boys around, Astana became Spirit’s tournament to lose - and they showed up.
Spirit won’t be playing at IEM Dallas this week, opting instead to fully focus on the Major. Who knows? They might just prove they belong in the top-3 conversation.
As for Astralis, they came into this tournament with nothing to lose, so this run probably wasn’t even in their wildest dreams. That made their finals appearance a welcome surprise.
Now, with plenty of time on their hands – since they won’t be playing the Major - they can really buckle down and prepare for next season. After this strong first impression, we wouldn’t be surprised to see HooXi continue leading the charge.
Assuming the org doesn’t go bankrupt by then, of course.
Here are the final standings of PGL Astana’s Playoffs:
