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GUIDES
Simple Radar
© 2026 TLDR Media, All Rights Reserved.
Maybe NiKo just needs some amethyst
Having fun with your Pick’Ems? No? Us neither.
Stage 2 has been a bloodbath so far, Legacy went 3-0, Falcons were 0-2, even MIBR have won a game. The whole thing is f–cked.
It’s giving us Krakow vibes, the Boston feels, this Major is going to be one for the ages.
Go on then, who had Falcons down as an 0-2 team?
If you did, please hand yourself in. You’re a danger to everyone around you, and you need your hard drives searched. Or just buy a lottery ticket. You should definitely do that, you wrongen.
Falcons, one of the favourites to win the Major, were somehow an 0-2 team. They got there after an acceptable (be quiet) loss to B8 and an entirely unacceptable defeat at the hands of Lynn Vision on Nuke.
“How did Lynn Vision manage that?” We hear you ask. Well, their coach just looked at two hours of Falcons’ Nuke demos. Seriously, it was that simple.
What were you even doing at that bootcamp, lads?
The 0-2 game came against OG, who themselves found themselves 0-2 after losses to VP and M80. OG were even in a fantastic position to knock Falcons out, too, NiKo’s Major curse was in full swing as Falcons choked Dust2 from a 9-3 lead.
However, fortunately for NiKo and his sanity, the rest of his team rallied, and Falcons managed to edge out a close game on Nuke and then dominated Mirage for a 2-1 win. Boring.
Okay, maybe not boring, the playoffs will be a lot better with Falcons there. They’ve just got to not f–ck up again… Oh, it’s going to happen, isn’t it? NiKo really is just that cursed.
The other 0-3 team is BetBoom, who like OG, surprised us by dumping out in such a sorry fashion. It’s not that we didn’t expect them to be in the 0-2 bracket, because we did, but they looked good enough in Stage 1 to be able to at least win a BO3. Guess not, though.
BetBoom faced TLDR’s least favourite team, MIBR, who found themselves staring down the barrel after losses to Legacy and Nemiga.
We’re going to be really honest with you, this game wasn’t one for the fragmovies. The two maps may have been 13-11, but there were genuinely no highlights during either. A truly rotten stinkfest.
We can only hope that tomorrow is MIBR’s final day in Austin. Brazil has stronger candidates to represent them in the playoffs.
B8 look like they might be the real deal.
Mind you, if we had a quid for every time we started to believe an Eastern European team was good because of a few BO1s at a Major, we wouldn’t all be volunteers here at TLDR.
They got past a slightly off-form HEROIC side — still a tough team to beat — and now find themselves just one best-of-three away from Stage 3. With two chances to get there and an opening win over Falcons already under their belt, they’re in a strong position.
That’s a legit run.
This in turn drops HEROIC into the dreaded 1-2 bracket, where they will be joined, sadly, by newsletter favourites TYLOO. Despite smacking M80, they lost to FaZe before becoming the subject of some Asian-on-Asian violence. They lost to Lynn Vision, in other words, who start today in the 2-1 bracket.
They also beat Falcons. Maybe this says something about society. Or NiKo at Majors.
3DMAX toppled BetBoom and Nemiga to end up in a 2-1 game, but lost to Legacy, just to ensure it remains impossible to know if they’re any good. No good team would ever lose to Legacy.
M80 couldn’t handle the new, still odd FURIA, and end in the 1-2 bracket, with FaZe and paiN finishing up the 2-1 bracket after losing their 2-0 games.
Our personal highlight is getting to watch TYLOO again, obviously.
They have a do-or-die game against HEROIC, with neither team really looking like a 1-3 team at present. But obviously one of them has to be.
JamYoung has been fantastic, as usual, including one of the great pistol rounds, but TYLOO are plagued with inconsistencies. That last part of the sentence has always been and probably will always be true.
They have enough to beat HEROIC, they just… probably won’t. Unfortunately.
FaZe face 3DMAX, which is probably the exact match-up they would pick if they could. They usually dogwalk the French, and s1mple isn’t going to start respecting them now.
Going 0-2 to start might be the wave, fellas. The winner of Falcons vs OG (you’ll have to read on…) gets an absolute dolly. They play the other team who went 0-2 and won, somehow. Isn’t this format great?
One of paiN or Lynn Vision is guaranteed to advance, which is a bit of a strange sentence. paiN always seem to let us down in the big games, so getting a game against Lynn Vision to qualify should alleviate some of that pressure.
‘Should’ being the operative word. paiN ALWAYS let us down.
B8 and FURIA square off in a game that is lowkey a must watch. Both of them are super fun to watch and will add quite a lot to the viewing experience in Stage 3.
Can’t they both win?
The final game is Nemiga vs. M80, which is the opposite. We could barely muster a shrug for this one. Both could go out, and probably should on previous evidence.
Soz, Americans.
When did you first start playing CS?
I first started in 2013, I think. A long time ago now, I'm getting old. But I think my first professional game was in 2015, I believe.
In your professional career - and this can go over to your experiences with that other game - what's your favorite moment from your career?
Yeah, I'm not going to try and mention Valorant at all. I think my favorite... Okay, I have two. One is from VALORANT and one is from CS.
I think the CS London Major, making it to the Playoffs was one of my coolest CS experiences. Also, just making the Austin Major because with M80 it was a team that kind of came out of nowhere. We made an NA team that's doing pretty good. And obviously, we've had three attempts at Majors now. One I had to sub in, one in Shanghai that didn't go well, and now making it to Austin as the third time has been pretty cool.
And then also in VALORANT, it would have to be the Istanbul tournament where, again, we got to Playoffs with a really scrappy team no one expected. So yeah, that was two of my highlights.
So, talking about that FACEIT London Major. Say that the day of the quarterfinal, you were walking to the arena and some young guy was walking next to you and he turned to you and he said: 'Hello dephh, please don't f*ck up my pick'ems'. And you looked at him and you said: 'Oh, I will'. What would you have thought that young boy meant?
I think at that point, I already fuked up his pick'ems, to be honest. Because no one expected us to get that far. So, I think I already screwed that little kid over.*
Well, no, because that young boy was me, and I'm pretty sure I put you to win the entire thing just on the basis of you being English.
Ok, well, I can't take blame for that. If you put us to win that tournament, then fair play.
But look, I had to have some faith, right?
Yeah. So I did meet you there?
Yeah, very briefly. Anyway, if this all wasn’t you job, what job would you imagine yourself having?
You know what? I think about this regularly because obviously I'm coaching now and esports won't last forever. So, there is some times I think about 'what the fuck am I going to do after esports?'.
I always thought staying in esports, maybe in managerial positions, might make sense, but I've always been... It's going to sound so bad, but I was hoping I get rich enough to just own a farm, own some land, and look after some animals. But honestly, I don't think I'm rich enough. So, I don't know if I can just do that.
Getting into a trade also seems pretty fun, but in America it's just so damn hot. I don't know if I could do that either. Maybe I'm just like so used to the cushy esports stuff nowadays.
Yeah, I mean, I'm in a very similar place. This stuff can be frustrating, but it's got to be better than everything else.
It's like, you wake up and you're like 'man, I do this for a living'. Like, people die to do this. So, I'm just going to keep going with esports as long as I can.
When you tell people the job you had back in 2015 or even now, what's the strangest reaction you've ever had to that?
Oh, I've had so many situations with Uber drivers that are just like 'Oh my God, my kid would love meeting you. He plays Fortnite, he plays this game'. And I think back in 2015 to now, the reactions have changed.
In 2015, people were like 'What? You get paid to do that?'. And now, I see a general consensus of people like 'Oh yeah, I've heard about that'. So, I think esports has got to the point now where people aren't shocked anymore. But back in the day, you mentioned you played video games for a living, people would freak the fuck out.
Do you have any, or do you have any pregame rituals?
You know what? It changed over time. I had a few, for sure. There were no weird ones, like having to do certain things or bring a plushie that I have to touch three times. It wasn't anything like that.
It was just keeping my routine the same every time I play a game. So, my warm-up would be the same length, I'd try to eat the same things, I'd try to drink the same things. So, my pregame was always kind of boring, but that would kind of lock me in.
I also had like... I call it “locking in the spaceship” to the team. You find positions of your arms, your mouse, your keyboard, and your monitor where every time you can feel the same. You go to all these events, they've got this monitor, that monitor, they've got this and that and that. It never feels the same, but the closer you can get to that is the best thing you can do.
Out of interest, do you know a player that will touch a plushie three times?
No, I just made that up. But some people definitely have some weird shit going on. I've seen it. The tape measure comes out and like this and that. I think karrigan even did the stones. You know the stones, the different energy stones? So, it's definitely getting up there.
Have you got a favourite song to deathmatch to?
I honestly don't deathmatch anymore. Now I'm a coach, I'm can just like 'Okay, I don't have to play the game, I can play other games casually, finally'. And honestly, maybe I was a bit psychotic, but I'd never even play songs while DMing. I wasn't that guy. I would just do that straight raw, sound on.
You're the one who was comm’ing in deathmatch, weren't you?
No, it was just full sound, listening, pre-firing corners. I was a bit of a try-hard, really.
Every little helps. How much is a can of Monster?
I think $2.99 from my local gas station in Louisiana.
From any team you’ve ever been on - and this can be the teams you've coached as well - would you choose to win a 1v1 clutch for the fate of the world?
The fate of the world? Fuck. I think it would have to be malbsMD, or - this is kind of a wild card, and mind the pun - stanislaw. He's pretty good in a clutch, to be honest. And Mario (malbsMD) also just dominates in a 1v1, it's very hard to kill him.
If you were stranded on a desert island with one of your current teammates, which teammate would you pick?
Swisher. He's the most 'this guy is going to do well in life, I can tell'. He's already prepped for management and doing all of these other things. He's a little bit the second dad of the team. So, 100% Swisher. He's the only one that's not slightly moronic.
So, on the flip side, who would you least want to be on that island with?
Reck. He won't last a day. I'd end up eating him.
Is he the most moronic?
No, I wouldn't say that. He's just so young and... yeah, he's unprepared.
If you could own a house located on any Counter-Strike map, active duty or not, which map would you choose?
Oh, that's tough. I saw them AI videos of Counter-Strike recently. You know, where they're putting people inside maps? I think Inferno potentially... looks like nice weather, nice vibes, some music going on. Yeah, I'd probably say mine is Inferno. Because it is Italy, right? And Italy is pretty...
Are you a cat person or a dog person?
I have three cats and one dog. So, a bit of both. But if I had to choose, I'd be a dog person.
That's a lot of animals.
Yeah, it's a lot of animals. One of the cats we didn't want, but the mom gave birth on our doorstep, so we had to take it. It's the cat distribution system.
So, you’re from a universe where VP are struggling, and Legacy barely scraped their way into Stage 2?
Well, buckle up, because around here things work a little differently.
VP and Legacy dominated Austin’s Stage 2, sweeping all three of their matchups and cruising into Stage 3 with flawless 3-0 records.
How on Earth did that happen?
VP started off their campaign with two statement wins over tough opposition in OG and B8 - two teams that impressed in Stage 1. But for god-IGL electronic, they were just target practice, as the squad dropped only five rounds across the two BO1s.
Their qualifying BO3 against paiN, however, wasn’t nearly as smooth.
paiN finally looked like the version of themselves we saw before the roster changes, pushing VP to the brink. Although it was a 2-0 sweep, both maps hit double digits, with Mirage going to OT.
We’ll be honest, we didn’t think VP would qualify, let alone go 3-0. But Stage 2 has already proven wilder than Stage 1… just look at what Legacy managed to pull off.
The Brazilian team shocked everyone by clinching the second spot in Stage 3, kicking things off with wins over MIBR and 3DMAX that instantly shattered most of our Pick’ems. But what came next was even more unexpected.
Legacy faced s1mple and the boys in the battle for the undefeated title, and FaZe simply couldn’t keep up with the direct, explosive style of the young star dumau and his crew. Always an exciting talent to watch, dumau is keeping his form on the biggest stage of the season, helping his team secure a major objective.
The oracle has spoken. The prophecy has been declared. Follow its path or be lost forever.
On a final note, if you ever come across someone holding an Austin 2025 Diamond Coin, please do your duty as a citizen of the civilized world and report them to your local authorities. Thank you for your service.
