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GUIDES
Simple Radar
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We didn’t like our investments anyway
EVERYONE PANIC! THE STEAM MARKET HAS CRASHED! WE’LL ALL BE ON THE BREADLINE SOON!
Oh, and The MongolZ have made a very surprising (and probably bad) roster move, too. Happy Friday!
Do Mongolians celebrate April Fools a few months late?
Out of nowhere, The MongolZ announced the removal of Senzu from their active lineup, “after careful discussions between players and management”.
The only remotely legitimate reason we could tolerate for this move is if Senzu ran over the Mongolian president’s granny while she was crossing the street. And even then, Mr. Khürelsükh would probably think twice before forcing the team to bench their best player.
Let’s be real, there’s no way The MongolZ decided to sideline their star simply for the vibes - and Senzu himself confirms it. This is a team that hasn’t changed a player in ages. Something definitely went down outside the server.
Curiously, this whole situation might remind some people of the controversy Senzu was involved in back in 2023, during his time with Team NKT. Basically, he gambled away skins his teammates had lent him and was cut from the roster. Real jkaem-style.
Could this be connected to what’s happening now? We doubt it, but who knows at this point.
So, who the f-ck can replace Senzu?
Let’s just make one thing clear: unless donk starts grinding Duolingo right about now, there’s absolutely no one in the entire Milky Way who isn’t a downgrade.
On top of that, because of Major roster rules - which only allow a sub to be registered by October 30th - they can’t bring in anyone who’s already qualified. That immediately rules out The Huns’ players, a team they could turn to for a replacement.
Yesterday, The MongolZ addressed some of our questions and announced that controlez will be stepping in for IEM Chengdu 2025. The team explained that the 28-year-old was picked because he’s “an experienced player”, also citing “insufficient time to fully assess the academy team’s players”.
This strongly suggests that the move came out of nowhere, even for the team itself, as they clearly didn’t have much time to prepare for this nightmare of a scenario.
Sometimes you just have to feel sorry for a player.
We’re not even talking about ICY, who got cut from VP, but instead b1st who was moved up to replace him. Getting cut from VP is being set free, and being signed by them is a death sentence for your career.
Best of luck, kid. tO0RO showed you what NOT to do. Unfortunately, what not to do was ‘join VP’s main roster’. Bit late for that.
At least b1st seems to be a quality player by the numbers - his 1.26 rating in last three months gives us a little bit of hope. Just a little bit. He’s aggressive and got the skills to back it up, on paper. What an exciting player.
An exciting player for VP to ruin, again. They’ve ruined every bit of fun in every player they’ve signed in the last few years, and somehow have become 100x more boring after cutting Jame.
That’s like having sex for the first time and somehow becoming more of a virgin.
Well, OJ Simspon didn’t kill us, apparently. But k0nfig killed his career, and electroNic just killed nexa’s. Or at least, will kill it within 2-3 months!
If you’re a long time reader of the TLDR newsletter, you might know that the lot of us here are massive sadists. That’s why, when we saw that Valve had absolutely decimated the skins market, we couldn’t help but p-ss ourselves laughing.
A truly hilarious occasion, the latest update made it so you can now trade five Covert (red) skins in order to receive a knife or gloves, depending what you included within the trade up.
The people who were fastest to move on this will have made big profit, certain red skins were only a few quid when the update went live, but those skins are now all at least 20 smackaroos, and the people who weren’t quick enough didn’t just miss out on the chance at a quick buck.
No, it’s much worse than that. People with massively expensive inventories have been caned by the update. The value of knives has plummeted like The MongolZ’ odds of winning the Major, and certain people are losing out big time.
It’s so bad that the market cap for CS2 - in one night - fell from $6 billion to $4.3 billion. A 25% decrease. Twenty. Five.
But honestly, it’s pretty funny. Not just because real skin “collectors” or “investors” are cringe, but because they’re all really crying about it online. And that’s something we can really get behind.
If your one big investment was CS skins, a glorified NFT controlled by a private company who, evidently, can nuke the value of that investment overnight, then maybe you deserved for it to happen. Maybe.
Besides, we aren’t all moneybags, so the decrease in skin value could actually be quite good for us in terms of getting the skins we actually want. Buy the dip, we say. Well, maybe wait a week until the new knives are tradeable first.
The update also saw Retakes added as an official mode, which is great as long as you’re the type of person who actually plays on Valve servers.
Fortunately for us, we’re not.
