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Why can’t people just be normal?
Of course, as we all grew older, we realised there’s a lot more to being funny than just that, and started doing actual funny things - like this newsletter.
Two things differentiate me from the subjects of this story, however. I’m not twelve anymore, and I’m also not a professional Counter-Strike player with thousands of fans.
Normally, stuff like this would be a bullet point for napz to throw into the segment at the bottom, but the fact that all of this happened basically on the same day really shows that you f-ckers all need some media training.
Let’s travel in time. It’s Monday.
My day starts by reading that one of the pillars of NA CS, Fragadelphia’s in-house photographer, Muenster, has had all his equipment - worth a total of $15,000 - stolen from a LAN tournament and has set up a GoFundMe page to help replace it.
A lot of people make donations in a very wholesome moment for the world of Counter-Strike. Another guy is sent into a very public social media meltdown - unprompted.
Those of us who, like me, enjoy spending time in the dark corners of tier two Counter-Strike are very familiar with SportsBetExpert and their CEO Peter "PETE187" Anadio. Yes, he’s one of those weirdos who uses the brand account as a personal account, and it causes glorious drama every single time he logs on.
We highly recommend you have a scroll over your lunch break today.
The day continues until a clip from another backwater Counter-Strike scene surfaces, this time from academy-level Brazilian CS. stormzyn, IGL of MIBR Academy, is in hot water after a dubious post-round celebration involving a prop of a child’s doll on Cache.
He’s later dismissed from the team as a consequence, as the viral clip does laps around the internet. We honestly don’t know what the f-ck he was thinking.
At least my day ends with good vibes, as recently benched Aurora player soulfly shares an inspirational quote on his Instagram story. “The sun will rise again and we will try again”, the caption reads. Good to see his spirits are still up-
Wait… is that who I think it is? And the account is named…
For f-cks sake.
I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he genuinely didn’t spot the Austrian painter in the image and was too drunk to read the very on-theme account name. Even with all that in mind, do you want to find a new team or not?
If you do, get a grip. If you don’t, then check your DMs.
I’m sure chrisJ has sent you some tips.
